Friday, October 29, 2010

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Things To Love

  • Cool evenings and cozy wool sweaters

  • A loyal dog curled up against on a cold winter's night

  • Wine in a crystal glass, sipped slowly, with classical music in the background

  • Flannel sleep pants and an old favorite cardigan

  • The crackle of a fire and the soft glow of the embers lighting a room

  • Brisk morning walks with the crunch of frost underfoot

  • The tinkling sound sleet makes in the quiet of the night

  • The smell of a cedar tree and fresh cut pine boroughs

  • Great conversation over a slowly eaten dinner with old friends

  • Hugs from family and friends

  • Hot chocolate on a cold windy night

  • An Unfrench martini, stirred not shaken, with more Chambord than Vodka (and no pineapple juice)

  • Blue Bunny's Banana Split ice cream served in your best china dish

  • Wearing your best clothes around the house just because it makes you feel good

  • Watching British detective shows on BBC or PBS

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

It Gets Better

Growing up, I always knew I was gay. I never questioned it. Never wanted to be otherwise. Never had a problem accepting that fact about myself. I knew I was different. I knew that there were others like myself somewhere in the world. I also knew it wouldn't be easy. The world didn't understand me, my difference, my uniqueness, my gift. I knew. Most everyone else did too.
When I came out to my parents in 9th grade. They didn't believe it. They thought I would out grow it. Some odd phase I was going through. Of course it didn't go away. Neither did I. I learned to gauge who could accept it, who was like me, and how to cope with the perceptions. I've never been a conformer, but by being true to myself, I earned respect. I never cowered or back down. I never ran away. I was resilient, just as all are capable of being. It's the adversity that gives us strength. Empowers us. If I wasn't like everyone else, then I was gonna strive to be better.
I was involved. I let people see me for everything I was, not just for my sexual attraction. I could play sports, and weight train. I could be on committees and in clubs. I could attend events and win awards and recognition. All by being the best I could be.

I can remember a few taunts in high school. I ignored them. Why should it bother me if I was gay or a cocksucker? I never gave the power to hurt me to any other. I was better than that. The one time a fella turned around in class while the teacher was out, and struck square in the chest for no reason, I looked him in the eye and said "Your ass is mine after class." I didn't raise my voice, whimper or cower. When was class was over, he couldn't be found. I never had another incident from anyone.
I was lucky. I never allowed pressure to get to me. I dated a couple of girls. Hung out with girls. When I met a guy and we became close, I stopped dating girls altogether. There was no need. I was going to be myself. Who God had wanted me to be. And I have never looked back or questioned. Each passing year, it all gets better. Hang in there. Find people who appreciate you for your uniqueness. And screw the rest.

Friday, October 15, 2010


I got the full time position! I hope I would. Kinda thought I would. And did! Woohoo! I still will be making less than I'm use to making, but by getting more hours per week, it will feel like a bit of a raise. The benefits were the main objective. I'm not getting any younger and insurance and 401(k) may actually come in handy at some point. I'm hoping after the first of the year to renew my job search for something better paying and in the field of web design. I wouldn't be too disappointed if I stayed in my current field if the pay was higher. At this point though, it does feel good to get a paycheck every week after being without one for so long. It is nice not to rely on my parents for every little thing I need and there is a small amount left over occassionally to do something fun. I do miss not being able to save more money. I use to save 10 to 15 percent from my paychecks. Guess it will take a while to get back to that level of income in this economy. I'm just glad to have a full time job before the holidays. And I've already started my Christmas shopping. Two gifts down and a few more to go! Woohoo!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Yep.....Still Here

It has been busy and tiresome, but fun around here lately. I just finished up an 11 day stretch of working, which was exhausting. I filled out the paperwork for the full time position at work and have my fingers crossed about that. I'm already put in more hours than the full timer at work so hopefully that will count for something. I went to a fundraiser for The Mint Museum last week. Saw lots of people I knew and had a blast. I even ran into Tommy, the cute, tall coworker of mine and my old crush Jeff. The view from the 5th floor terrace looking out over downtown Charlotte at night was spectacular! Wish I had taken my camera. My mother's surgery and recovery has been great and speedy as well. It has been good lately.

The only downside has been with my father. The results of his scan showed one tumor responded to the treatment, the other did not. That seems to be certain, though I thought there was only one and the other was a misreading. Regardless, in another month he will go for a follow up to see if it has changed by then. I'm not sure what can be done if it hasn't. He can't take chemo and they can't do surgery, so the only option, if available is another round of radiation treatment if he can stand it. The first treatments left him fatigued but otherwise ok. We'll just have to see where it stands a month from now.

Some other good news, though we aren't exactly sure how and if it will pan out, is the town sent a letter of interest to my parents about their old place. Seems they may consider it for a town park. If they are willing to pay at least tax value, I know my parents will sell. That means I can get to building my house sooner rather than later. Of course, it's just a latter of interest. No offers have been made or terms discussed, but it's a nice little surprise in the midst of all the chaos.

As a side note, I have two dear friends that are dealing with health issues of their own. One had neck surgery again to repair the stuff done the first time. He literally has some screws loose (which I always suspected). The doctors removed part of his hip bone to make the repair this time. (Guess he will have his ass on his shoulders for sure now) He is back home recovering and has some pain meds to make him more pleasant. I wish him well. He's too cute and too fun to be laid up for long.

Another friend has stage 2 squamous cell circoma (His spelling, which I think is wrong). He had a bump removed on his head and that was what the biopsy revealed. He goes next week to make sure they got it all. I'm not sure exactly how serious it is, but any cancer sucks in my book. I wish him and his partner well. I wish I were closer to look in on him.

That wraps up my news. Hope all is well with my dear readers. I appreciate y'all sticking with my little blog through these changes. And all the nice comments and emails are comforting. I'd loved to hang out with any of you any day! Just as soon as I win the lottery.......

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