Thursday, January 5, 2012

Question

Is it possible (or practical) to base a relationship solely on physical attraction and work on the trust and honesty later (and I assume all the other personality traits as well)? Or is looking for the personality traits first and let the attraction grow from there?

An acquaintance of mine believes the first. I believe the latter. My reasoning is the personality traits rarely change where as the physical body does over time. And the fact that my taste in men are so varied, where as his seem to be a clearly defined “type”.

4 comments:

Sean said...

I've always given love time to develop but the only times I feel in love was "love at first sight" that big spark, the kind that makes your heart skip a beat. These were men who I had to meet and did. I've had many lust at first sights which kinda feels like love at first sight but never goes anywhere except maybe to the bedroom or back room.

3rdnlong said...

NO relationship can be based on nor is it possible or practical on just physical attraction. The same end result can be obtained at the "glory hole" in the last stall in the restroom by the food court. Rule of thumb for "tommy" opps your friend, ask themselves after they "nut" do they not want to be touched? Do they want to be alone in the bed or not touched? Do they turn away from any affection? If so the only relationship they want is with themselves.

Russ Manley said...

Go with your own instincts, Dave, not somebody else's. You've shared a lot about the kind of love you want on this blog over the years: not everyone is as romantic or as definite as you are about what they expect.

Nor is everyone capable of deep feeling or long-term stability. The trick is to find someone sexually compatible, with the same values as you.

A shallow party boy might be great fun for a night or a weekend, but I think you want more than that. So stick to your guns, buddy, and be true to yourself.

As somebody once wrote: Do not give your heart to what does not satisfy your heart.

Ur-spo said...

Truth be told there is no correlation to a relationship's success to 'how it started'.
Most traditional marriages used to start with nothing in common or any attraction actually, but contracted to grow and learn together.

What doesn't work is more clear - seeing in the other something you don't have, and you hope he will 'fill that for you'. Inevitably A rejects B and vice versa for the reasons they got together in the first place!

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