Sunday, November 30, 2008
In this meme one talks about your house or abode, and the objects therein.
Favorite place in the house – The living room
Biggest piece of junk – The living furniture, it is worn out but comfortable
Most whimsical object – I have crystal prisms hanging in front of the windows
The object that evokes the most anxiety – The kitchen sink, it is always full of dirty dishes
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
It deeply saddens me to hear of the violent attacks carried out by extremist in Mumbai, India. The taking of innocent lives in the name of a cause, especially a religion is a despicable act. I can't fathom the sickness that drives people to commit these atrocities in the name of their God. It is one thing to defend yourself from attack but quite another to actively seek out unsuspecting targets in some religious quest. These people have no soul, no compassion, no decency. Whether they can be brought to justice in a court of man is irreverent. Whomever their God is will judge them. I have read of many religions over the years. I can't recall any that support these type of actions. Extremist are a dangerous lot. They occupy the fringes of all religions around the world even here in America. It is a desperate mind that arrives at the conclusion that violence in the name of any cause is just. To stretch a belief to the point of enacting violence against your fellow human beings is fundamentally sociopathic behavior. The same convoluted logic used by serial killers and mass murderers. I feel remorse and sorrow for the families affected by this senseless act. I hope that they may find some peace.
It wasn't until my mid to late 30's that I realized I was a man. Not that I thought I was a woman. I always referred to myself as a guy, a boy, a dude, or a fella. I wasn't particularly athletic growing up. I did enough normal guy stuff and a few not so guy like things. I was a boy scout, a horrible baseball player, rode bikes, had a dog, etc. My biggest deviation was reading, drawing, and daydreaming. I was more into going to library, checking out books on ancient Rome and Greece or architecture. I would read the dictionary and both entire sets of encyclopedias. I spent time playing with my sister and the two sisters down the street. By the time I was old enough to venture out of the yard to play elsewhere, the boys that lived on our street were in their mid teens. Not exactly playmate material. Most times I was just a loner. I ramble through the woods, play in the barn or playhouse, imagining all sorts of adventures. If I wasn't doing any of that I would be watching the Hardy Boys, or Solid Gold on TV.
I knew I had a penis and that made me a boy. I like, no love, my penis. And many others I've seen. I've never had a desire to be female, or dress like one either. I know how to worked just about every power tool, have driven tractors, dump trucks, painted, changed out light fixtures, landscaped and move furniture. All the manly things. But it wasn't until my late 30's that I remember calling myself a man when speaking about myself. It struck me as odd. So being the inquisitive type that I am, I started wondering why and trying to explain it.
Growing up, I wasn't very close to my father. He was always working and was tired and grumpy when he would get home. My grandfather and I were always tight. As I matured, my father became less of a stranger to me. Now we have a great bond, just like my grandfather and me. I had a few male friends that would come over after school, but not very often. For some reason, my mother never liked a single friend of mine. I only recall visiting one friend's house once in my entire childhood. I never had nor went to sleep overs, except once with the boy scout troop, in which my father was there too. He was also the coach of the baseball team the whole four years I played. Probably the only reason I made the team, 'cause I sucked. I went camping several times with my grandfather. Of course once I turned 18, and was working, I was rarely at home. I made new friends, discovered boys, hung out, partied, and discovered what fun having a penis can be. Most of my friends after high school never met my parents. I liked it that way. I guess having grown up the way I did, and being gay, kind of never gave me the "man" self image that most guys form. Just another step in the journey of life. I'm glad I finally became a man.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
I hope everyone has enjoyed their Thanksgiving. I enjoyed the time with the family and the food was excellent as always. I ate like I had some sense and didn't go overboard with it like I usually do. The weather here was very nice, in the low 60's with sunshine all day. I can't believe how my niece, nephews and cousins are growing. They're a handsome bunch if I may say so. It sure does make me feel old. I remember when they were all just little babies. Now my oldest nephew is a teenager, my two youngest cousins are in their early twenties. My niece is playing soccer and the youngest nephew is in third grade already. Where does the time go? I was worried about my mother some since this would be the first Thanksgiving without her father, but if she was sad or upset over it, she showed no outward signs of it while we were all there. The older the kids get the easier for me to relate to them. Now their answers make sense and I'm not so worried about saying or doing something wrong around them. I guess if I were around them more, I may have gotten more comfortable earlier on. It amazes me at how smart and savvy they all have become. I don't remember being that insightful when I was at any of their ages. Maybe I was a late bloomer. I'm looking forward to Christmas now and a new year is just around the corner. I sure hope it turns out better than this one has been for the family.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
- Being a man
- Man having a penis
- Being gay
- Being a gay man with a penis
- Evolution, that's why gay men are fabulous
- Erections, mine and others
- My age, makes me appreciate youth
- Surviving my youth, despite myself
- Porn, wouldn't have a sex life without it
- Internet, where would I be without it
- Testicles, I wouldn't be nearly the man I am without them
- Prostate exams, going where few have gone before
- Soccer, great for men in short shorts
- Rugby, real men pop out
- Glory trails, if I lose my eyesight, I have a map to follow
- Hidden locker room cams, now I know every man spends that much time washing it
- Hidden urinal cams, now I know every man shakes it more that twice
- Straight men, without them we wouldn't have amateur porn
- Web cams, so we can keep tabs on our young men
- Metro sexuality, now we all look gay
- Sagging britches, I don't have to wonder what his butt looks like
- Gyms, good for fantasies, torture, and working out
- Masturbation, the cheapest form of dating
- Facial hair, changing my look without a stylist
- Manscaping, good grooming never goes out of style
- Exhibitionist, absolutely love them
- Digital cameras, now everyone is in touch with their inner exhibitionist
- Sphincter, such pleasure, such pain
- Urination, I have an excuse to touch myself several times a day
Those are a few of my not so serious things I'm thankful for. They certainly make life interesting.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
- Once got naked in a bar on a Saturday night that resulted in receiving public anonymous oral sex.
- Performed oral sex on the front steps one night.
- Danced nude and erect with all the doors and windows open for the neighbors enjoyment.(or dismay)
- Arrived naked and ready for action at an old boyfriend's front door.
- Drove nude on interstate from Atlanta to Charlotte. (got a few looks, but no takers)
- Have interacted with several aroused men on a leather run many years ago.
- Played billiards in the nude at a bar and at someones residence.
- Have enjoyed many movie clips in adult bookstores when in college the first time.
- Ran around the trailer naked and in high heels at night on a dare. (they stick in the mud)
- Received oral sex from a customer in a dressing room, while at work. (forgot about this)
- Performed an impromptu strip routine for a guy I wanted to impress. (it worked)
- Engaged in oral sex at night in a park with a "straight" friend of a friend. (first meeting)
- Spent the night with a guy in the back of van in a bar parking lot. (lots of piercing)
- Had a drink stirred by a bartender's penis. (interesting garnish)
- Danced naked in an intersection late one night. (the flashing lights were like a club)
- Walked 3 miles in leather short shorts and a harness at night on a busy highway.
- Showed up at a friend's place drunk and without pants in the middle of the night.
- Hung out with naked guys in a hot tub in the winter.
- Went skinny dipping in an apartment complex pool. (until security caught me)
That's all I can think of now. Some of these I may make an individual post about in the future. I've had some interesting experiences. There are some things I won't try, but most I'll consider. It would appear that I have an exhibitionist streak.
Friday, November 21, 2008
I'm so glad that today is Friday. This week is about over and so is this month. One day closer to Thanksgiving. Then on to Christmas and New Years. I'm ready to put this year behind me. It has been a rough one.
I took my new camera with me yesterday to take pictures of the remodeling, but was so busy doing things I forget to take pictures. I'm gonna take it with me again today. Maybe it won't be as hectic. The house is coming along splendidly. Still much to do on the outside, but the inside is wrapping up. Just a few minor things to complete. My parents aren't in any hurry to move in. They want to wait till spring. I can hardly wait. Then maybe, we can get started on my house. Well, time to meet my father over there and be all butch like.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
This is so cool! I read about this over at Michael-in-Norfolk, who found it on Andrew Sullivan's blog. Give it a shot. See what it says about your blog. It takes less than 15 seconds.
ESTP - The Doers
The active and play-ful type. They are especially attuned to people and things around them and often full of energy, talking, joking and engaging in physical out-door activities. The Doers are happiest with action-filled work which craves their full attention and focus. They might be very impulsive and more keen on starting something new than following it through. They might have a problem with sitting still or remaining inactive for any period of time
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
You Are An INTJ
You have a head for ideas - and you are good at improving systems.
Logical and strategic, you prefer for everything in your life to be organized.
You tend to be a bit skeptical. You're both critical of yourself and of others.
Independent and stubborn, you tend to only befriend those who are a lot like you.
In love, you are always striving to improve your relationship.
You have strong ideas of what love should be like.
At work, you excel in figuring out difficult tasks. People think of you as "the brain."
You would make an excellent scientist, engineer, or programmer.
How you see yourself: Reasonable, knowledgeable, and competent
When other people don't get you, they see you as: Aloof, controlling, and insensitive
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
My sister was in the house and my father and I were in the garden doing some weeding. It was summer and as always, all of us were in and out of the house constantly all day. My sister was going back into the house from the garage door into the laundry room. My father and I heard the most blood curdling scream coming from the house. I will never forget it. I thought my sister was being murdered. We threw down our hoes and raced toward the house. I beat my father there but he wasn't terribly far behind. I saw my sister standing in the middle of the laundry room shaking out of fear. She was completely freaked out over something. I asked her what was wrong? She pointed to the corner of the door frame, just in time for me to see about 6 inches of a snakes tail slowly moving behind a chest near the door. She had step on it barefoot when she entered the house. (Well, that would have freaked me out too). By this time my father got there, and I yelled to him to get something to remove the snake from the house. He ran toward the shed to fetch something, meanwhile there was less and less snake to get a hold of. Quickly running through scenarios, I choose to act before it was to late. I reached down and gripped what was left of the snakes tail sticking out from the chest. I yanked as hard as I could, and flung it into the garage. I never will forget how dry the skin felt. I always imagined it being slippery. My father arrived as the snake was trying to slither off. It was huge, about 6 feet long, black, and pissed off. It was a common king snake. My father cut the head off and disposed of it. I felt sorry for the snake. We were concerned that it might return and try it again. If my mother had been there she would have had a heart attack. She is deathly afraid of snakes. So that's my story of grabbing some tail. Ah, the joys of country life.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Thought I would do a list of my favorite things. I'm a bit bored at the moment and I love list.
Trying to think of things not normally found on the profile page.
Favorite color(s) : Black, Red
Favorite gemstone : Diamond
Favorite Number : 5
Favorite Flower : Rose
Favorite Tree : Water Oak
Favorite Season(s) : Spring, Fall
Favorite Spectator Sport(s) : Rugby, Soccer
Favorite Participation Sport : Volleyball,
Favorite Fragrance(s) : Issey Miyake
Favorite Metal : Gold
Favorite TV Show : Ghost Hunters
Favorite Quote: "Do Ut Des" (Latin for "Give to Gain")
Favorite Alcoholic Beverage: Rum and Coke
Favorite Meal time : Breakfast, Dinner
Favorite Restaurant(s) : 300 East, Showmars
Favorite Dessert(s) : Cheesecake, Apple Pie
Favorite Candy : Chocolate anything
Favorite Holiday : Christmas
Favorite Sleeping Position : On my right side
Favorite Way to Bathe: Shower
Favorite Bar(s): Liaisons, The Brass Rail (now defunct)
Favorite Nightclub(s): Scorpio
Favorite Snack(s): Popcorn, Potato Chips (sour cream and onion or cheddar)
Sunday, November 16, 2008
I started my Christmas shopping yesterday. I figured I might as well while I still have a little bit of money left. I purchased for my father, mother and brother in law. I still have to get something for my sister, my niece and two nephews. I'm not spending much this year, not like I really do anyway, but less than I normally would if I were working. I can't believe how quickly this year has passed. It's almost Thanksgiving and Christmas will be here before you know it. I prefer to have it over and done with so I can enjoy the Christmas spirit. I don't think retail will do that well this season. To much uncertainty about jobs, mortgages, insurance, the wars, and the election. I'm sure we will see some more chain stores fail after the holidays. I hope not, but this is the time of the year when the largest portion of their yearly sales comes in. It doesn't look good.
My mother and I went to the Hospice Memorial this afternoon. It honors all those who have passed during the year. My mother cried a little. Surprisingly, I didn't. It was thankfully brief, but a pleasant thing to do to ease the loss. We all sang ''Shall we gather at the river". That was a nice touch. The Chaplin for Hospice spoke and said a prayer.Then we all recited the Lord's Prayer together. I was happy I remembered all the words. They called out the names of the deceased and lite candles for each one. The refreshments were a little sparse, but not bad. It reminded me of when I accompanied my mother to a cancer survivors service at the Presbyterian Hospital many years ago. Overall, it was a somber experience. It reminded me of just how many people in my life they have taken care of in their final moments on this earth. So far 6, and sadly there will be more I'm sure. Hospice is a great organization. I'm proud my parents are so involved with them.
You are NOT allowed to explain ANYTHING unless someone asks.
Taken a picture completely naked?Yes
Made out with someone on your top 8?No
Danced in front of your mirror naked?Yes
Told a lie?Yes
Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?Yes
Made out with someone of the same sex?Yes
Seen someone die?No
Slept in until 5pm?No
Had sex at work?No
Fallen asleep at work/school?Yes
Held a snake?Yes
Ran a red light?No
Been suspended from school?No
Totaled your car in an accident?No
Been fired from a job?Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?Yes
Laughed until a drink came out your nose?Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue?Yes
Kissed in the rain?No
Sang in the shower?Yes
Gave your private parts a nickname?No
Ever gone out without underwear?Yes
Sat on a roof top?Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?Yes
Broken a bone?No
Shaved your head?No
Played a prank on someone?Yes
Had a gym membership?Yes
Felt like killing someone?Yes
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry?Yes
Cried over someone you were in love with?Yes
Had sex more than 10 times in one day?No
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets?No
Been in a band?No
Subscribed to Maxim?No
Taken more than 10 shots of alcohol?No
Shot a gun?Yes
Had sex today?No
Played strip poker?Yes
Tripped on mushrooms?Yes
Video taped yourself having sex?Yes
Eaten alligator meat? frogs legs?No
Ever jump out of an airplane?No
Have you been to more than 10 countries?No
Ever wanted to have sex with a platonic friend?Yes
Friday, November 14, 2008
It was really weird this morning. I woke up at 5:30am for some reason, thinking about my ex. I'm not sure why. It has been almost 8 years since we split. I was laying in bed, listening to the dog breathe and the rain on the window. All I could do was reminiscence. It wasn't upsetting, quite peaceful actually, like afterglow. I though about the first time I met him. I had started a new job at a screen printing company where he was employed. It was love at first sight for me. I think it may have taken him a day or two longer to figure it out. I will never forget his pick up line. We were taking a smoke break outside. He had said something about short people. I answered, "Well, I'm 5'8", so I know you aren't referring to me". To which he replied, "I'm 5'11 1/2 and I won't say where the 11 1/2 inches are". Well, I was intrigued. I found out a couple of days later that he was nicely endowed, but not 11 1/2 inches, thank God!
Over the years, we experienced up and downs, like any couple. I try to remember all the good and minimize the bad. I do still think fondly of him, though we haven't spoken in years. We had such a great connection together. We just fit nicely. He was everything I ever wanted in a man. He was handsome, a little rough looking. No one would ever suspect he was gay. Tall, swimmers build, dark hair and eyes. Very intelligent, an IQ of 160, witty, knowledgeable. We shared many laughs together over those years. He cleaned up well, had manners, and very articulate. When I first met him he rode a motorcycle. Then he purchased a pre-owned BMW 750 and would even let me drive it occasionally. He was almost perfect.
We split, not because we ran out of love, but circumstance. He always was a heavy drinker, from morning till bed time, even before work. He never let it interfere with his work or responsibilities. He would smoke a little pot occasionally, which I didn't approve of, but would share the experience just to be near him. Then it all changed. He started doing coke. He lost his job, that he held for 10 years, because he lost his temper with another employee. He did get another with a florist wholesaler and was doing well. His habits changed. He became an absolute slob. The BMW was so full of trash it looked like a dumpster. You literally had a path from the front door to the bedroom in his apartment. Trash was every where. More than once I helped him clean it up but to no avail. I wouldn't see or hear from him for days, sometimes weeks. I always worried that he had been busted or killed while being at his dealers place. Finally, he was evicted from his apartment when the landlord had to go in and check a maintenance issue. The place was destroyed. I had long since made him come to my place. I couldn't take the filth anymore.
He moved in with me for the last couple of years we were together. He decided he needed to be near his parents in Atlanta to help him sort out his problem. I agreed. There was nothing I could do. I had always been supportive when I could. I always listened to what he had to say. But this problems and the ensuing mess, I wasn't able to cope with. I was worn out emotionally. He loaded up his stuff with his father from my house. He left just before Christmas in 2000. I still have many good memories and I let the bad ones slid.
You are The Emperor
Stability, power, protection, realization; a great person.
The Emperor is the great authority figure of the Tarot, so it represents
fathers, father-figures and employers. There is a lot of aggression and violence
The Emperor naturally follows the Empress. Like an infant, he is filled with enthuiasm, energy, aggression. He is direct, guileless and all too often irresistible. Unfortunately, like a baby he can also be a tyrant. Impatient, demanding, controlling. In the best of circumstances, he signifies the leader that everyone wants to follow, sitting on a throne that indicates the solid foundation of an Empire he created, loves and rules with intelligence and enthusiasm. But that throne can also be a trap, a responsibility that has the Emperor feeling restless, bored and discontent.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I just ordered this little number for myself. I feel somewhat guilty about it being unemployed and all, but I needed a pick me up. I realized a while back that I have no pictures of my dearly departed friends to share on this blog. I never was much into picture taking, but now, I come to the conclusion that sometimes memories aren't always enough. It will be my early Christmas/late birthday gift to myself. I want to document my life in some way. I can use it for class projects as well. I still hated to spend the money, but Best Buy had a 10mp digital camera for under $150.00, I couldn't pass it up. I had thought about asking for it for Christmas, but my family never spends that kind of money on a single gift. My father would for my mother but not me. My sister does on her kids or husband, but not me. I don't have a wealthy boyfriend or benefactor to beseech, so I guess I have to pony up if I want it. The guilt is already subsiding.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Somewhere down the line things changed. Women developed more voice in who they would marry. Dowries were no longer required to ensure a marriage would take place. Women were no longer considered property of their fathers or their husbands. Couples of different faiths could marry. Couples of different races could marry. Producing children was no longer the sole reason behind a marriage. People understood that love was a better reason to marry, than for money or kingdom or peace.
The most important parts have been very recent events. The right for different races and faiths to marry. Not surprisingly, neither were based on popular votes. The government step in and did the right thing to ensure equality among its people. Yes, many were upset over it and some probably still disagree. Yet, things changes were seen as inevitable by an evolving civilization and necessary to the pursuit of happiness. No one would dare speak of undoing them. It would be unconscionable.
Here in the year 2008, we saw just that. A law that was to provide equality to the people in a state. To make sure that their family, however they choose to define it, was just as protected as everyone else. It was undone by popular vote. The religious leaders chose to make it a moral issue. They have the right to say it is wrong by their standards. No one says otherwise. The problem was they have now forced that belief into law, that has effected a percentage of the states population. Invalidating, a right, the court believed they had based on their interruption of the states law and Constitution. Which is what courts do, by the way. They had hijacked the legislative system to make law out of their belief.
They based this argument on text that is 2,000 years old. In the Old Testament, which according to their own beliefs are only historical at best, and was under the Law of God. They now prescribe to the New Testament, which eliminated all those animal sacrifices and such for sin, because after their Savior died, supposedly, they live under Grace. They based it on religious doctrines that not everyone subscribes to in this country. A step toward theocracy. The claim that marriage is a religious institution was used, forgoing the fact that in the very ceremonies they use, the religious official must state "By the power invested in me by the state of ___", in order for it to be recognized by the government, and convey all 1100 rights, laws, privileges and responsibilities to the new couple. And forgetting to mention that afterward or beforehand, the couple, the religious official, and whatever witnesses are required by the state, must sign a marriage license purchased from the government and resubmitted to make a legal binding contract of the religious ceremony.
I'm sure that was merely an oversight on their part. They didn't really mean to step on the rights of others. To follow their own doctrines of loving one another, tolerance and acceptance and forgiving of sins and not judging another, they could never go against what they preach and hold so dear. It was definitely an oversight. To now allow the things that were once condemn in their Old Testament, the marriage of different faiths and races certainly shows they are capable of embracing change. The simple fact that divorce and remarriage are now allowed is evidence of that. Even marriages that don't produce offspring are allowed to stand and are celebrated. The religious institutions that don't recognize those are in their rights to do so because of their freedom of religion, but most importantly those seeking such unions have other another way of establishing their marriage. Definitely a separation of church and state in that instance. I'm sure as soon as they come to understand these things and pray about them, they will do the right thing. They will ask our forgiveness and offer their support.
And if that is a long time coming, then we have history and case law in our favor. The most recent evolutions of marriage were dictated by the state and federal government. The popular vote doesn't really matter. Sure, it's nice if they understand and approve because it is the right thing to do to fulfill the tenants of their own religion. If not, we are still gonna fight for a basic right that was previously given in the name of equality and the pursuit of happiness.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
I've been checking things out, light fixtures, plumbing fixtures, cabinets, flooring, doors and the like. Very exciting! I've dreamt of my own home since high school. I know as soon as we break ground, I'll cry like a school girl. I may not always agree with my parents on everything but for an adopted child, I've never questioned their love for me. I'm trying to be thrifty. I don't want to spend all their money. I'd still like to get an inheritance later on too. At this point, if I don't win the lottery soon or find a job after I graduate, it will be my retirement.