Wednesday, December 31, 2008
One of my favorite memories that involves my ex, concerns ringing in the New Year for 2000. I had been mentioning to him for a week or more that I wanted him to make sure he was home early enough so we could celebrate together that night. As it grew dark, he still wasn't home, so I called him on his cell phone. He was still hanging out with his coke dealer buddy. I wasn't that surprised but a little miffed. He promised he would be here, but I didn't put much faith into it at that point in our relationship. I decided I would start early without him. About 8pm, I fixed myself a strong rum and coke. I flipped through channels getting an idea of what was scheduled for the evening. There was all kinds of stuff from around the world as the global community prepared to ring in the new millennium. It was awesome. If I had to watch this unfold by myself, I was gonna beat him when he got home. Nine o'clock came and went. Still not home. I called again. Same story, he would be here. At 10pm, he rolls in. I'm already buzzed from a few drinks but when he showed up, my anger subsided. We talked, drank, watched the tube. Hanging out together. The celebrations were spectacular. Some sent shivers up our spines. The moment was historic and brought tears to my eyes.
At 11:45pm, I had him open a bottle of champagne I had been chilling, while I got the glasses. He poured, as we stood in the middle of my living room watching the last 10 seconds of 1999 slip by. Then we toasted. As "Auld Lang Syne" played on tv, we hugged, then kissed. The kind that takes your breath away. We slowed danced there till the song ended. Our arms wrapped tight around each other, just swaying to the music and listening to each other's heartbeats. We had great conversation, great entertainment and plenty of drinks. We rang in the New Year together as he had promised. We had fantastic sex as well for the first time in the new year. I think the reason that particular night means so much to me, is because that was the first time he had ever put me before his drugs. And it was the last News Years we spent together. He moved out in December of 2000, before Christmas.
As the end nears, I wanted to reflect on my life in 2008.
The year started off rough with my grandfather recovering from a broken hip. In January, I had to let my the car I purchased in May go back. I could no longer afford the payments. Thanks to my father's generosity, it was a surprisingly quick transition into another he had bought for me. Finding a job in March, after losing one in December, I was faced with giving it up in less than three weeks of starting to help care for for my grandfather. As he slowly declined in health, my mother and I looked after him. It took a physical and mental toll on both of us. Neither of us, despite the hardship, would have missed that time spent with him in the final months on this earth. He passed away July 5, 2008, just shy of his 91st birthday on July 9th.
Family members celebrated birthdays, just as in any year. School stopped and started for the kids and myself. The exception being the kids all passed their classes and I failed in mine for the first time ever. My grandfather's estate was settled and my parents begin renovations on his former home of 37 years. We made plans to start construction on my house on 2.8 acres of land he and my grandmother gave me 20 years ago. My parents had all but stopped visiting the lake house in 2008, but my sister has enjoyed it. There were the ordinary things of trips to the grocery store, video stores, errands to run. My father finally had prostate surgery before Christmas and recovered quickly, without complications.
The year was overhung with clouds of sadness. A dreariness that still lingers even today as it ends. Yes, it had both it's ordinary and extraordinary moments. The loss, the gains still haven't balanced themselves out yet. I'm not sure they ever will. Even in my darkest hours, I had faith that it will get better. I still do. As the calender flips to a new year, new hope arises. I have goals and plans to tend to for the coming year. I still have my health, my family, my dog, my classes and my medication. And my great blogger buddies. It will be a glorious New Year!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
I never could have imagined any of that!
I want to thank every single one of you who visit, leave messages, or follow my blog for making it all possible. My goodness, it's hard to find a proper way to say "Thanks". It has really meant a lot to me. Thanks for sticking around to see what's next. As this year ends, despite some of the bad that has happened, all of you have been a high spot. I wish you all the best, from the bottom of my heart! Bless you!
My goals for 2009.
- Continue with school.
- Learn Tai Chi.
- Learn Yoga.
- Lose 40 pounds.
- Exercise regularly.
- Stop smoking (again).
- Start construction on house.
- Fight depression.
- Read more.
- Make more friends.
I'm also going to try to be as forgiving of myself as I am of others.
Lost a thread plate. The side step is barely hanging on.
You've Changed 48% in 10 Years
You've done a good job changing with the times, but deep down, you're still the same person.
You're clothes, job, and friends may have changed some - but time hasn't changed you.
Welcome to Tuesday! I can't believe how quickly 2008 has passed. Here it is almost 2009 in just 1 more day! There has been a lot of changes in my life this year, some good, some bad and change in the country as well. It has been a roller coaster ride to say the least. I'm looking forward to the new year with a sense of hope and a little trepidation. The unknown can be unsettling at times. Change is like that. 2009 promises to be all about change it seems. The way things are shaping up, it will be an interesting time to be alive. I expect some historic events for the new year. A lot of dreams being fulfilled and not just my own. I'm ready to embrace them and see where they lead.
Monday, December 29, 2008
1. Link to the person who tagged you. 2. Post the rules on your blog. 3. Write six random things about yourself. 4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them. 5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog. 6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.
1) My favorite word is: Philoprogenetiveness.
2) I have never had sex with a female.
3) I once laid a straight guy because I knew the answer to 7 X the speed of light.
4) My maternal grandfather would put Pepsi in by bottle when I was a little tyke.
5) My 8th grade science teacher wrote me a letter stating he wanted to have sex with me.
6) I wish I had enough money to set up a private charity foundation.
I tag the following six folks:
The Greedy Maelstrom