Sunday, September 26, 2010


Yeah, things are going well over all, but they could still be better. The thing I'm disappointed with the most is my lack of further progress with my weight loss efforts. I've been stuck at 195 for months. I understand the reasons and don't beat myself up over them. It doesn't make it any better though. Stress, change in meal times with the new job, not always being able to eat right has me in a holding pattern I don't like. I was making such great progress, not any more. So starting Monday, I'm beginning my exercises in earnest. I have a home gym, why not use it instead of dust it? It will take a while to get into a pattern of use and a routine I like that fits with my erratic schedule. But I will be damned if I'm still gonna carry this few extra pounds into next summer.

I'm also a little disappointed on the friend/boyfriend/buddy front as well. While I have been more social as of late and really enjoyed myself, I have yet to form any truly deep friendships. They all seem so superficial. I try to be nice, show interest, etc. , but the response only seems like a courtesy. Like they are just being nice. None as I recall ask probing questions about me, while I try to learn about them. Small talk seems to always revolve around them and their drama. If I mention anything about my life, circumstance, etc., it seems to go unnoticed or quickly dismissed. I'm still trying to meet people. I haven't given up, nor will I. I would like to truly connect with a few guys, and have it be reciprocal and meaningful.

Another disappointment is the house. I'm so ready to start construction. I also know the other place hasn't sold, much less on the market yet. I know this year has been horrible as far as parental health, job searches, and multiple projects to get everything settled. I'm just sick of this damn trailer park. Sick of this trailer. Sick of being too embarrassed to invite people here. Sick of no space to put everything away and have a nice, clean, clutter free space in which to relax. It will happen. I've been told over and over, come hell or high water, I will have a house. I guess, as always the case with me, I want less talk and more action. Then I may could get excited. As a side note, with my father's current health state, it doesn't appear we will be doing any of the work on it. He just isn't able and ,well, now that I'm employed, so when ?
I realize these are trivial disappointments. I and my family have experienced much worse over the last couple of years. But it's on my mind. It annoys and troubles me. Sometimes it just feels good to bitch.


Lemuel said...

Sometimes it is those little annoyances and disappointments that really get us down. I know they do me.

3rdnlong said...

an easy small step and you will see a difference in ten days......

--> cut out all pop(even diet) as well as sweet tea and OJ(sugar content is the same as a pop)

--> unsweet tea if you can not go with just water and use all the lemon you can take.

Russ Manley said...

Bitch all you want, it's your blog buddy. A great invention for that reason alone, if no other.

But of course most people are not interested in you - they are fascinated with themselves, and think everybody else is too, or should be. And in my experience, the handsomer they are, the more that way.

And fewer and fewer people these days seem to have any freaking idea of how to have a conversation: I share a little bit about me, you share a little bit about you, and then back and forth, back and forth like a tennis game.

Waaaaay too many people seem to think a conversation is just like skeet shooting - where they have the gun and you're the skeet. Sad. But keep looking, you'll find a worthy match one of these days.

wv - bator

Ray's Cowboy said...

I fully agree with Russ. Dave from what we have talk over emails together. I am suprised you do not have a buddy/ freind/ boy friend/ boy toy. You are a wonderful guy. The pictures you sent me shows me what a hunk you are. My guess you may be at a platue as well.

And Dave bitch, gripe, talk, or whatever youwant to do.I am here still with you, my freind.

Ur-spo said...

Life seems to be a series of disappointments, alas.
Try to strive and be glad for things.

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