Now He Waits

One day this week, on my long drive to work, I was thinking about my father. I was wondering what he must be going through as he knows his days are numbered. What goes through some one's mind when they know one day soon, they will cease to be? I thought about how I would feel if I was faced with that. My father knows most likely he will never see any of his grandchildren graduate from high school, let alone college. He will never see them get married and have children of their own, his great grand children. I wondered how the grand kids will remember him and what they will tell their kids about him. My father will most likely not see his 55 wedding anniversary in November. I know that has got to be painful to him. He use to always purchase my mother a very nice piece of jewelry for their anniversaries. I wonder if he will get the chance now, even if it is to be held and given later if he is gone. My father has his doubts as to whether he will make it to his 74 birthday in September. Given his rate of decline, I have my doubts too. I wonder how he feels about not seeing me in a house of my own, that he has made such valiant efforts to ensure I have? I hope he is able to by some miracle. It would also mean the other place sold already and that my mother will have a extra nice money cushion to live off of as well. I wonder how it feels for him to understand all the things he will miss? Does it break his heart? Does it sink him into the depths of depression? How does he cope with that? Is it even possible to cope with it? I do know he has made every possible effort that he can to make sure everything is taken care of when his time comes. I know he satisfied with that. I know he knows I will do everything in my power to take care of my mother when he is gone. Strangely, he doesn't seem saddened by any of these things. A healthy concern about timing maybe, but otherwise he seems to have accepted his fate. He knows what is coming. He has prepared as well as any man can. Now, he waits. And we watch...