Melancholy Morning

I spent some time with my father today, while my mother ran a few errands. I piddled about while he sat on the sofa with his oxygen tube on. The sparkle and depth have left his eyes. My mother helped him bathe this morning. His vigor and stamina is gone. He is wobbly when he walks. I went with him outside to sit in the swing and enjoy the fresh air. There were a few moments that I thought he may not make it back in the house without me picking him up. Some how he managed. His steps are slow and deliberate, though unsure at times. He worries me. My mother worries me. Even though they both weight the same now, she could not pick him up should he fall and not have the energy to get back up himself. He is so frail. His 6'3" frame is nothing but skin and bones now. I'm afraid he will fall and break something. Or my mother will be injured trying to help him in some way. I don't think I have enough left in me to take care of both of them at the same time if need be. I've signed up for Intermittent Family Leave at work. If they need me, I can be late, leave early or call in and it not count against me. It will just shorten my paycheck. My mother mentioned to me this morning that she don't think he will make it through Christmas. I was thinking the same thing, but secretly hope he does, so long as he isn't suffering. While he dozed on the sofa, and my mother got ready to leave, I stood at the dining room window, staring out at nothing and silently cried.