About The Same

As Wednesday draws closer, I have to say, the more my nerves are becoming frayed. I'm worried about what the doctors will say about what is going on with my father and all that will entail. I'm so nervous about my upcoming interview. I've tried to put it all out of my head, but it is still there simmering in the background. Too many what ifs and nothing solid to hold on to at this point.

I'm concerned that my father will have cancer. I'm concerned that whatever it turns out to be and whatever treatment they have to do will be his downfall. He's not in that great of health overall to begin with. It worries me that this may be the beginning of the end for him. Of course, I thought the same about my mother's breast cancer too and she has rebounded amazingly well. Her reconstructive surgery is scheduled for August 15th. I just hope that both my parents aren't in the hospital at the same time or undergoing some sort of treatment simultaneously. Not sure I can handle that, especially if I am fortunate enough to land the job with Macy's.

I can't believe how worried I am about interviewing for a sales job in a department store. My mother told me yesterday not to be too disappointed if I don't get it cause they may be 20 other people interviewing for the same position. She is correct on that part, but I would be disappointed. Devastated even. My first interview in 2 years, yep, it would be a sever blow to me. If they want experience I have it in spades, selling many different products over the years and retail management experience to boot. I'm making sure I look polished and sharp.

I have have got to get this job somehow. I can't handle this unemployment much longer without going insane. I applied for food stamps. A whooping $137 a month. Woohoo! Not really enough, but better than nothing I guess. Sadly it will only cover food only. Nothing like toothpaste, toilet paper, Windex, nothing you can't eat. And no alcohol or tobacco either. They really want unemployment to be as miserable as possible.

I really just need to win the lottery. It would help with a lot of this stress. It may not restore my parents health, but I wouldn't worry about being able to care for them. I could even hire someone to help me if need be. At some point, I just need to catch a break. Something needs to go in my favor.