Overload

There is so much on my mind this morning. So many things going on, none of it any good and all of it worrisome. My father's CT scan is this morning. He will go Thursday to get the results. I just hope the spots/tumors/cancer/whatever they want to call it is unchanged. Better news would be it is gone entirely, but I doubt that is the case. He stays on oxygen just about all the time now. He is weak and worn down. I can see it in his eyes and demeanor. His stamina is gone. Even the smallest exertion wears him out and leaves him gasping. He's still hanging in there though.
The other thing is my job. I may or may not have one as of today. I was suspended Saturday. This morning I'm suppose to call Human Resources to find out if I can return to work or not. I'm waiting for them to get there. I've called and left a message already this morning, even though I know she wouldn't be in yet. I've already updated my resume and actually applied for other jobs yesterday, just in case. It appears that a common practice in my former department was not common after all. Everyone in it was doing it. I was trained that way. I had no idea it was wrong. It isn't as grievous as it sounds, but enough to warrant Loss Prevention to get involved. I honestly don't know what to think. I certainly don't think it justifies being suspended or terminated. I'll just have to wait and see how it goes today.
I want to talk to Tommy so bad it is killing me. I miss him, his friendship. I don't want to let go of that. I can live with being friends, even if no romance is involved. I genuinely like him despite his issues. He is still a good guy. I just have no idea what to say or do now. That remains a worry. Hopefully it will work itself out in some form.