Weekend Trip

These are from the trip to Cherokee that Tommy and I took this weekend.

We stayed at Harrah's Casino.

Had an awesome time!!!

Howdy! How you doin'?

Things are going as smoothly as possible with my new position at work. I really love it. It is so much better than being on the sales floor, though I do help in fine jewelry when I need some extra hours or they need coverage. The hours will be increasing here shortly as the store gears up for the fall season. I hope enough to be eligible for insurance again.

My guy and I still talking but not really seeing each other. Since his son has moved home, there isn't any place else to go. Guess that is the trouble with seeing someone who isn't out. Though I have let him know I'm willing to work around this circumstance, I haven't seen the same effort from him. So I guess fuck buddies was all he wanted. Oh well, doctor or not, I've moved on.

I have actually have been seeing 3 other guys. While my doctor friend really turns my crank, the others are out, just as close and can give me what I want outside of the bedroom in a relationship. Somehow I've managed to juggle my work schedule, doing things for my mothers, and seeing 4 guys (of course, Doc dropping the ball freed up some time). I've decided I'm not getting excited about any of them. I like them. I enjoy the time we spend together. The sex is nice too. But, I'm just not going to put myself out there emotionally like I have. It would be nice to actually put some of this hard earned knowledge to use. So gonna try to be as detached as everyone else and see where it goes.

I have also started a little side project. I'm doing male nude photography. Currently, I offer my services for free to any man who wants tasteful, artistic nudes, semi nudes or such for their personal use. I had my first photo shoot last Friday with a friend that has turned out very well. The little group I set up has responded very well with offers to model and great positive feedback on the resulting images. After 500+ pics during a 2 1/2 session, it netted a stunning variety of 130 useable images. I have another shoot booked for next Saturday morning with two other friends. And three more planned before the end of the month. Tommy is actually planning one in mid August. His won't be nude, because he is too paranoid about his job finding out, but he has actually booked and is paying for an overnight trip to a casino in the mountains for us to do his photo shoot at. This has been interesting so far. I hope to turn this little project into a money making opportunity by the end of the year. Right now, doing it for free helps me gain experience and build a portfolio. As much as I enjoy it, the time and effort involved won't allow me to do it free for long. I'm happy with where this seems to be going.

I've tried some more of the Advocare products. Honestly, they are some of the most amazing supplements I have ever purchased. The results I see in Tommy and his brother's  physiques are honestly astounding! My personal results have not been as dramatic, but great nonetheless. That little belly roll is s-l-o-w-l-y melting away. I would highly recommend to anyone who want to lose weight, trim down, bulk up or just live a healthier lifestyle to try AdvoCare products. Here is a link to check it out for yourself  AdvoCare.

So that is what's happening in my neck of the woods. I'm plugging along, making the best of things.....Hope all my readers are doing well.

Me & My Guy

Well, I guess things are going very well with me and my fella. We just past the two month mark! That is something that hasn't happened to me in very long time. Sunday we spent the afternoon together at the naked pool. We talked, made goo-goo eyes at each other, swim and shared a little PDA. It was heavenly! I guess if driving almost an hour and a half, there and then back home doesn't show genuine interest at this point then nothing will. As I've mentioned before he is still "closeted" or at least not out to family or coworkers. He is a little older, so I'm not surprised. I don't mention it. That is his to deal with, if, when and how he sees fit. I'm just enjoying our times together, the sex and the texting. I have no expectations. Hard for me but not forcing anything. His two sons have moved back with him temporarily. Of course that does present an obstacle but also a chance to get together outside of his place and the bedroom. I'm not disappointed in the turn of events, but look at it as a challenge as to how much we really want to be with each other. I'm still very happy with him and he with me. He calls me "stud muffin". And I smile........

Howdy!

Been an interesting month so far.....Lots of stuff going on, all of it good so far....

My mother finally sold the old place. She closed last week on it. Yeah! Now she can stop worrying about being "broke". And I can stop worrying about trying to keep everything up at both places.

I finally got moved to the support team at work. I start my new schedule and position in Merchandising the week of the 19th. I'm excited about having a set schedule. No more nights and weekends, except on rare occasions or Christmas. I have to get use to being at work at 6am, but the getting off at 1pm, 2pm or 3pm is gonna be wonderful! I still have to figure out if I want to go to the gym in the mornings before work, which I prefer, or switch to afternoon evenings.....we'll see.

I've discovered a new line of products by Advocare that has really helped/enhanced my workouts and health goals. They are awesome! For years, I would try various products that GNC offered only to return the unused portion because they never did what they claimed. I'm so excited about this stuff! I started the 10 day Cleanse and feel amazing only 2 days in! I'll keep y'all posted on other product results as I try them out....

Also, me and my man have pasted the one month anniversary phase. Woohoo! Things are still going well and seem to be headed in the right direction. We still text almost daily and say little flirty things to each other. Our times together are getting a little longer and involve a little something extra besides just sex. We talk and share lots of personal stuff without being pushy or intrusive.....The pace is slow but steady and consistent. I like where we are at the moment and always look forward to seeing him. He spoils me with attention. I'm happy. He is too.

My next change begins Wednesday. I'm going on the patch again to quit smoking. I've had enough of the expense and I need to keep my promise to my father. I figure while detoxing on the 10 day Cleanse, it would be a great time to do it. With all the junk out of my system, and all the water I drink now, the patch will have a better chance of helping with the cravings.....

So there it is in a nutshell. Things are looking up. They are not perfect yet, but they are heading in the right direction. Yeehaw!

Dating Update

I'm smitten. Blown away actually. Sorry, I'd like to have his pic up, but need to protect his privacy in a small town. I'm over the moon. I'm trying to take it slow and not force anything too quickly. So hard for me to do! We text/chat/email/message just about everyday. He is so sweet! I can't believe my good fortune. All because I "winked" at him because he had a nice chest. We talked for a while before I ever saw his face pic. I liked what I read. Apparently he did too! I have know idea where this is going. It may turn into just fuck buddies. While not exactly what I'm looking for, it will suffice till someone else comes along. We haven't had that talk yet, but I'm thinking it should be soon. I think of him throughout the day and smile in contentment. He makes me happy. He makes me feel protected, appreciated and cherished. Honestly, don't think anyone has made me feel that way since my first when I was 19! Just have to take it one day at a time and hope I don't scare him away or he finds someone better! Fingers crossed y'all!

(I'm not gonna tell his name just yet for fear of jinxing it.)

Dating Games

Well, after my short break from trying to meet a nice guy, I'm back in the saddle. I've met some really nice fellas in the last couple of months.

• Beau - mid 50's, divorced, 4 kids, sweet as can be, stayed overnight 3 times with him since January, we have chatted for almost a year before meeting, has potential and makes me happy.
• Marty - mid 40's, a couple of years younger than me, very close to where I live, some high school friends set us up, many similarities in our lives, our first time together was awesome, lots of potential, but not sure if he is wanting the same as me though has shown extreme interest, definitely staying in touch to see.
• Keith - early 50's, very nice, handsome, successful, divorced, but not out, so doubt this will go beyond our first meeting other than chatting.
• Dominick - mid 50's, OMG hot, and intelligent, funny, a truly great vibe to be around, divorced, with 5 kids, 3 or so grandkids, a job that requires travel, and a lot of interest to keep him busy, lots of potential and attraction on my part, but when would he find time for me?
• Lee - mid 50's, sweet guy, awesome skills, but bisexual, not looking for LTR, so no point in bothering unless I want a hook up.
• Norman - Mid 50's, back in the picture from last year, still hugely attracted to each other, but the same problem persist -his "ex" still hasn't moved out yet, so leaves me wondering.
• Mike - mid 50's, sweet guy from New York, works hard, close by, but seems more friend material than husband material.

My favorites right now are Beau and Marty. It's a toss up if I had to choose one today.  Norm is fun and flirty and though we have made tentative plans, I really don't see it going anywhere again. While Beau has 4 kids and an ex wife, he seems to have forged a gay identity separate from his old life. Marty is honestly everything I want in a husband, but while his initial interest was through the roof, once he got what he wanted, he quickly cooled off. Some how I'm not sure what to make of it. He is a Gemini and I certainly know how that goes. I'm just taking it one day at a time. I chat with guys all the time online. Very few do I met in person and even less do I hook up with. While I am accessible, I'm not a slut and have no intention of being. I want a long term relationship not a fling or just a roll in the hay. I'm worth the effort and the one for me is too.

I want a husband, soul mate, best friend, lover all rolled into one. While we don't have to have exactly the same taste or agree on everything, I would like to share common values, similar backgrounds. Age doesn't matter much to me. Younger is fine, but not more than 5 years, I think. Older is great but not more than 8 to 10, 5 years would be ideal. I want to grow old together, not be a caregiver.  I'm hopeful. I put myself out there in the fray, sort through the BS and flakes and have met some really nice guys. While a nice guy is a cool find, there has to be something else, that spark, and it has to be mutual. It's ok if it only turns to a friendship. I'll move on. No biggie. Unless I give it the opportunity to become something more, I never know. I've also learned over the past 2.5 years with Tommy: pay attention to the signs and know when to walk away.

Passing Thoughts

Well, after nearly a month, a $2,000 repair bill, and over $300 in gas, I finally have my car back! Woohoo! It feels weird after getting use to the Yukon and the Explorer. I feels as if I'm sitting on the ground almost. I keep reaching for the gear shift on the steering column instead of the console. And the ride feels rougher than I recall. Oh well, I'm still glad to have my car back.

I've been noticing little things about my mother that disturb me slightly. It isn't anything major, just little things that may point to trouble down the road as far as her health is concerned. On the way to pick up my car, she came way too close for my comfort to rear ending two cars. Both for no apparent reason. Both were not sudden stops. There was adequate room to come to a stop or at least slow down without slamming on the brakes. We weren't really talking. She had her eyes on the road. Why she waited till almost upon them to hit the brakes is beyond me. Thankfully, she did and there were no accidents this time. I've also noticed that she seems to have trouble staying between the lines. She tends to drift back and forth a lot. Almost to the point that I'm afraid she will run off the road. Again, so far she hasn't, at least while I've been in the car. Also, not that her house has become a pig sty, but she isn't keeping it as spotless as she once did. I've noticed spiderwebs and dust bunnies here and there. Most of that I've chalked up lately to her injured shoulder, so I'm only making mental notes of it, instead of saying anything to her. I know she values her independence and I wouldn't want anything to take that from her. The fall last month shook her confidence enough. But I am watching and making mental notes. She turns 74 this year and her health could be a little better, but otherwise, she is fit for her age. I'm just concerned.

I had an internet interview for a local Cadillac dealership. I've never done one that required video responses before, so it was interesting. I hate the way I sound recorded. I think I looked horrible and sounded even worse. I didn't have a webcam so after work, I went to Tommy's and used his. He said he thought I did very well on my responses. I just hope they think I did a great job on my responses! I'd love to make more money. I need to make more money! Hopefully, I will hear something positive by the middle of the week or so. Wish me luck!

More Stuff

This new year feels a lot like the old one. Of course only 9 days in to it, there is ample time for it to change.

I spoke with the mechanic yesterday about the car. Yep, the pistons are warped. Figures. So it will be $2,000 bucks to fix. Thankfully my mother said she would pay it and I could just make payments to her. I honestly don't know what I would do without her! It hurts to have her to pay though, so any money not going to bills will be going to her. I just hope I can continue to make payments on my jewelry at the pawn shop. All I can do is my best. Let things fall where they may. Nothing more I can do about it.

On the work front, I'm being moved from the sales floor to the support team. It feels like a demotion almost. I'll lose my full time status and my benefits as well. I have mixed feeling about it. I do think I will be happier on the support team than sales as it is more suited to my talents. It also has a fixed schedule. No weird shifts and coming and going times. No nights and no weekends! I keep my same salary. I'm looking at it as an opportunity. With a set schedule, I can may find another part time job or even return to school to further me along a career path. And certainly have more time to search for a better full time job. Like I said, mixed blessing. I haven't told my mother yet as I don't want her to worry and secondly, they haven't given me a date for it change yet. All I know is it will be some time after inventory, which is the 12th and the 13th. So wish me luck.....

My mother did receive an offer on the old place. She refused it. Can't say I blame her. It was low balled pretty bad. The tax value is $615,000. The old asking price was $550,000. It is currently listed at $395,000. They offered $325,000. So, unless they make a better counter offer, they are out of the running. Thankfully there is still two other potential buyers. One of which just sold their home and hopefully will make an offer shortly, since that is what they were waiting on. So now some more waiting.....

The car ordeal and ensuing expenses threw me for a loop. I was really struggling with things as it were and guess that was the tipping point. I was very depressed for about a week. I didn't go the the gym at all. Partly because I was depressed and just not in the mood, but also driving my sister's Yukon and my mother's Explorer just takes too much freaking gas. Between the 2 vehicles and towing, I've spent $300 bucks.....so much for saving my overtime pay or taking care of anything else I had hoped to do. Like new eyeglasses or tires for the car, much less getting any jewelry out of pawn. Somehow, I'll find away to get a new set of tires, hopefully that doesn't involve my mother. As for the eyeglasses, luckily, Tommy's prescription is perfect for me. I'm hoping at some point maybe I can borrow his, take them to a Lenscrafters, copy the prescription and have them placed in my old frames. It would be cheaper, if they can do that. I'll check into it a little later when all the car crap is out of the way.

At least now my head is cleared somewhat and I'm thinking clearly about what needs to be done. I'm back at the gym again which helps a lot with keeping the cobwebs at bay. Now to just get moving on updating the resume and polishing my interviewing skills.....2013 better be good to me!

Catching Up

Here is some of the things going on with me.....

Two days before Christmas, the timing belt on my car decided to break on my way home after working a 10 hour day. Thankfully, I was only about a mile from home. A tow truck was called and delivered the car to a repair shop. Of course, they were closed the entire week of Christmas up to January 2nd. So it was towed to another local shop that opened the Wednesday after Christmas. It is uncertain if the pistons were warped or not when it broke. So now, once that is replaced and the engine back together, they will be checked to see if they were damaged and need to be repaired. I've been driving my mother's car and my sister's, which I picked up on Christmas day and drove back. Alternating back and forth if my mother doesn't need to go anywhere. So far, the big Yukon of my sister's has cost me $85 in gas for about 4 days of driving. My mother's has cost me $35 and I had filled my car up with $37 in gas, plus the two towing charges of $100. Guess where my overtime earnings went?

Also on Christmas day, I left early from my sister's since I had to be at work at 645 am for the first of 3 more 10 hour days at work. My mother fell down the basement stairs, missing the last 6 steps and landing hard on her right shoulder. She is bruised and in an arm sling for a separated shoulder bone. Thankfully, nothing is broken, but the bruises are almost neon yellow they are so bad. She hit the corner of the stairs pretty bad. A few inches higher she would have broken a rib or two, a couple lower, she would have broken her hip. She has been in some pain with the shoulder and tries to rest as much as possible. Nothing but time will heal that.

Obviously, I didn't make it to the Midnight Mass with Tommy after my car died. I hated to miss it but just couldn't make it without transportation. Maybe next year. I did go to the service with my mother after getting up at 330 am to go to the gym and working a 10 hour day. Somehow, I managed to stay awake through the hour and half service without falling asleep.

My favorite cousin lost her husband Wednesday night to lung cancer. After surgery and chemo treatments, he was released into Hospice care Monday. She is handling it well so far. I'm sure it will sink in after a few days. I remember their wedding as a youngster. It was the first I ever attended. Funeral arrangements haven't been made yet. I hope I can make it depending on my schedule at work.

Since September, I've been without running water at home. The leak I had was bad enough to run the water bill up over $400. Even with me turning the water on and off as needed, it was just too high to pay. I haven't told my mother, nor will I anytime soon, especially with the car repair looming and her property taxes due. The side benefit of  joining the gym is showers and toilets. Other times, a friend of mine since middle school, that is local, has given me the key to his house to use whenever I need to. Bless his heart. He has no idea how much that helps. I fill gallon jugs for water for Izzy to drink. I do laundry at my mother's when  I get the chance. I fibbed and told her my washer wasn't working. I bring the damp clothes home to dry as to not run her power bill up. It's more of an inconvenience than anything. It requires planning but manageable.

I had planned on using my overtime to finally get my jewelry out of the pawn shop. Guess that isn't gonna happen......

So now y'all up to speed......

Um, Ok

Busy! Busy! Busy!
That is the only way to describe things at the moment. My work schedule is hectic and playing havoc with getting anything else accomplished, though I have managed to keep up my exercise time at the gym. This week, I'm scheduled for 54 hours! A far cry from the norm of only 35. These 10 hour days aren't too bad, but require lots of prep work and planning to make sure everything is taken care of before I leave home. I been hitting the gym anywhere from 230am to 5am in an effort to keep on track for my goals. I also try to get back home for 30 minutes to an hour so Izzy, isn't here for longer than 12 hours by himself. It makes me sad to leave him inside that long, but there isn't anything I can do about it. He seems to understand and has been so sweet. I'm off today, so I'll spend a lot of time with him to make up for it.

My mother is having a hard time with this holiday. She is stressing and missing my father something fierce. I wish I could spend more time with her, but work is getting in the way. This year, we will be going to my sister's house for Christmas, so we will be trying to squeeze that trip into an already hectic day. My sister thought it would help out my mother and her mother in law, who lost her oldest son a few months ago, to not have to worry with readying the house and meals at their respective homes. Maybe it will help. It seems to have taken a little of the joy away from my mother though, but she agreed to go and hasn't changed her mind, though asked several times. We'll see.

I'm anxiously awaiting the new schedule for the week of Christmas. I need to know what my hours are for Christmas Eve. I'm going to Midnight Mass with Tommy and I need to squeeze in a visit with my mother as well, since it will be her first without my father. I'm trying to make everybody happy. I just hope we close at a decent time and I'm off or either scheduled to leave earlier than closing that day. Of course, I have to have a little time with the dog as well before running off somewhere else that night after working too.

My Christmas shopping is coming along nicely. I'm almost finished with only 3 left to purchase. This year's budget was a stretch, but I've managed to find some good bargains on the stuff I was wanting to give. I should be finished by this Friday and have everything wrapped by Tuesday, my next day off.

I'll be glad when this year is over. It has been rough and tested me in so many ways. I'm just glad to have made it this far.......

Conspiring Fates

I actually had a very unexpected pleasant weekend. It seems that things that were planned morphed into something even better. Saturday was the annual White Party but I wasn't planning on going. I had toyed with the idea but since last year was so disastrous, I figured maybe the After Party if anything at all. I was scheduled to work Saturday till 630 anyway, so the timing was good. I mentioned it to Tommy a while back and didn't think of it again. As the day approached, my budget just couldn't handle it and put it out of my mind. Tommy contacted me Wednesday and wanted me to help him plan a party for Saturday before the After Party. Of course I said I would. I went Friday night and helped clean up, and ready the place. To be cleaning up and being all domesticated, we actually had a good time. We heated up a pizza and opened some Coronas and commenced to cleaning and talking and listening to music, just having a great time, really! I advertised my shift for Saturday and someone picked it up that morning at 9am. Tommy called me to ask if I minded if he cancelled it because a friend of his had gotten invitations to the White Party. Then he asked if I wanted to go and we would meet at his house for cocktails before we left. I said yes.( Thankfully, early in the season, I had already purchased some white pants just in case I did go.)

We got ready....much tamer this time around....I was dressed and downstairs before him as his friends arrived at the front door. I let them in, got glasses and poured martinis that Tommy had made earlier from a pitcher. The look on their faces was priceless. One somewhere between a pleasant shock and awe. It was our first time meeting, and I knew he was close to them, so I wanted to charm them. (I already knew I looked good, lol) We chatted, laughed, probed, and drank....a very nice time. We all drove separate cars, cause no one was sure what exactly they may or may not feel like doing.

We had a blast! I drank, danced and hung out with the three of them. His friends were very warm and welcoming. I had a great time. I actually ran into Mike (the one who said there was no connection but we still chat like friends. He actually told me he seeing someone from Rock Hill the day before when we chatted. I wished him well, and hoped it worked out for him.) And I ran into Jerry (who come to find out knew all the ones I was with because they all do country line dancing together. We went out once too on a date but haven't really stayed in touch, though I tried, he made little effort to.) Imagine my surprise that they were dating each other! OH LORD! I smiled at them. Made small talk. I had no ill will against either. It wasn't awkward since I hadn't slept with either one. We only kissed good night on each of our respective dates. I think the oddest thing was while Tommy, Mike and Jerry all watched (intently, I may add) while I was dancing with a lesbian. I was getting down, having myself a blast, sweating like crazy! I catch their eyes watching me every once in a while.

Tommy really surprised me these last month or so. He actually picked up hours at Macy's. We have done lunch several times, chatted like never before. He purchase a gift for me, as a friend I'm sure. Gave me a DVD player since mine broke. Has introduced me to his friends, his neighbor, and his brother. He has been considerate, thoughtful and more sensitive. He has even offered me a spare room at his house, if I need a place to stay because of the issues with my place. He is actually being a good friend! Unbelievable!

So my weekend was awesome! I had fun! Made new friends! Saw some old ones! And I hope, made a few old dates a little envious that they lost out on me!

My Weekend Adventure

Well, my Labor Day weekend kinda sucked! I had great plans for it. A naked pool party Saturday,  haircut, trip to the grocery and liquor stores,  time with my mother and some chores for her and a few around my house. Didn't turn out quite like I had hoped. I woke up Saturday and ran the the convenience store to purchase a soda. My debit card was declined. The little screen said card expired. I asked about a new card the first of August when I was in a branch making a deposit. I called again on the 15th. I was assured my new card would arrive before the end if the month. It did not. I was busy making plans and thinking about my father I suppose, it didn't dawn on me that I still haven't received it yet. So I was stuck with only a half a tank of gas, no money in my wallet, and plans that required some funding! I was pissed! I went on over to my mother's to get started on chores for her. She was kind enough to pay me for them this time. So to save the little money and gas I had, I didn't go to the pool party. It's over 70 miles away from my house. I didn't go to the grocery or liquor stores or get a haircut either.
I did get in touch with a friend and helped him and his partner build a platform bed Saturday and Sunday. They even treated me to dinner for helping them at a hamburger joint in Monroe, I had never visited. It was very good burgers, though I rarely eat red meat these days.
Sunday evening I went to have dinner with my mother. It was nice to sit and chat a while. She is such a good cook too! I was stuffed on chicken, green beans, corn and fried okra! Yum! After I left her house, I went to visit Bill in Rock Hill, about 33 miles from my house according to Mapquest. I've been chatting with him for almost a month now and it was time to meet. I had some money and some gas and it wasn't that far away.
We had a great time. He is so much more handsome in person than his pics. We watched a couple of shows on PBS and sat on the couch with his dogs.........just a simple, nice evening. I left about 10:30 to come home since I had to work Monday morning at 9am.
We hugged and kissed goodbye. I had better direction in hand he had written out for me and there was a gas station just down the street.
Well that station was closed, but I stopped at another and put in some to get me home. I somehow missed a turn in the dark on those country roads. I drove and drove and drove. I was so freaking lost! I had very few minutes on my phone left since my debit card was expired and wouldn't work. I was now on an 1/8th tank of gas, in the middle of no where, no idea where I was at......it was very late and hardly no traffic, no houses or even businesses lining the roadsides! I was near panic! I finally found a gas station, asked for directions and was soon headed in the right direction. Thankfully, after much cussing and nail biting!
I arrived back at my house at 12:35am. I had put 145 miles on my car for a simple 66 miles round trip. My gas needle was on the red line when I pulled in the driveway. I was so glad to be home! I took Izzy out and went straight to bed!
The good thing is, it worked out. I wasn't stranded. I wasn't totally out of minutes or money. I was just alone in the dark in a strange place but I made it. It seemed to be a physical metaphor for my life at the moment. There seemed to be a lesson to learn. Ask for help early on and avoid the drama later down the road......Lesson learned!

Dating, Meh

Well, dating is more difficult than I recall. Guys are flakier too than I recall. Norm and I had a rough start, smoothed out and now, not sure where it is going, if anywhere. The attraction is there, but not much commitment, to even date or get them or whatever. So he is placed on the back burner and I'm moving on. I've met a few other guys, while Norm flounders around trying to make decisions that he can stick to.

Jimmy was a nice guy. Too young (42), too far away (over an hours drive) and positive. Being positive isn't a deal breaker for me, but combined with the other two things just makes it harder to make it work. While cute, nice, and being a good kisser goes a long way in my book, the attraction just wasn't strong enough to give it another shot with all the other things in play.

Lee is the same age as Norm, 55. Butch as all get out, very close by, only 23 miles away. Sadly, he isn't really 5'9"......barefoot, I'm taller than he is. He was fun to hang with, chat with and meet. Most likely, we will remind friends because of our common interest and close proximity. However his schedule is as screwy as mine.

Danny was much more attractive in person than his pics let on. I enjoyed lunch with him and though he is only 5'7", his personality, body and charm made him seem 6' tall! But atlas, he wasn't feeling it on his part. We have stayed in touch and have tentative plans to hang together as friends in the near future. I can certainly use more friends.

I have a few other guys I'm chatting with and could see some meeting in the near future with them. Jerry (a different one), Donn (travels a LOT for his job), Beau (a sweetheart so far), Gary (hot but distance may be an issue), Mark( a good ole country boy about 60 miles away), Paul (nice guy, seems a bit insecure and distance, yet again), Tim(nice guy but travel a lot too for work), Steven(think he is more into hooking up than dating) and a few others that pop in and out of chat from time to time, but haven't really established anything meaningful enough to pursue a date with them yet.

I've learned that some of these guys online, think nothing of stretching the truth or outright lying about their stats, even careful omissions leave me wondering. My profile is accurate, 100% me. What you see is what you get. I don't hide facts or my intentions for being on the websites or behind old pics. Even in my most current pic from June, I'm 10 pounds lighter now. I chat to find out about them and the validity and truthfulness of what they have stated. I've learned to ask the questions, not assume they will volunteer the info I'm looking for. I'm not afraid to call them out on it either. It only makes sense to make them accountable. If someone states they are only looking for friends, then a pic of your cock or asshole is not necessary. If you are looking for only fun, so be it. If you need to be discreet or can't host, I'm gonna ask why. I'm not a game player, nor bullshitter. I'm honest and upfront and expect, no demand, the same. Everyone wants something or none of us would be there.....lying isn't gonna build anything lasting.

Dating Update

Norm

Well, I've had a couple of hit or misses. Fred, a fellow I was talking to happen to mention that he is really 57, not 47 like his profile stated. No this a different guy, the other was named Wes. Hated to hear that because he was very interesting and we had a lot in common. Maybe I'm being too picky, but really, if you can't be honest about your age, then what else will they be dishonest about? So he won't be contacted again. Oh well, moving on.

I've been talking/flirting with a guy named Norm, on both Manhunt and Adam4Adam for a while now. We had set up 3 times to met, which he canceled all three. All were valid reasons, but I was ready to call it quits with him. We chatted after the last cancelation and I gave him one more chance. I let him know if he missed this one, it was over.

We had set up a time of 4pm on Sunday at McDonald's. I honestly figured he would cancel this one too, so my expectation level was very low. Despite all of our chatting online, and a seemingly common interest in each other, I truly had my doubts. Thankfully, going with my gut instinct and not heeding my coworker/friend's advice was the correct thing to do.

A very handsome man, 6'2", with Carolina blue eyes that sparkled showed up, with a firm handshake and a big smile. Just like his profile stated. Just like his pictures reflected. We quickly ordered our small ice cream treats and found an out of the way corner to sit and proceeded to talk non stop for almost 2 hours! He is truly amazing! I rubbed his stubble short hair on his head. Laughed often. Smiled and grinned a great deal. I felt that tingle that lets me know I'm on the right track. Quite honestly, I was blown away by him.

After sadly parting, down the road a piece, he texted me, "I'm at a traffic light. Thanks for a nice time."

 A couple of hours later, we were on line to each other. We messaged back and forth for over 2 hours. We both confessed to being very interested in each other. How lucky we are to have finally met after many snafus. And how we can't wait to see each other again. I'm happy with Norm so far. We have made plans for several other dates. Discussed many interest and the normal stuff newly connected people do. It feels good. Comfortable. Right. Only time will tell. Both of our intentions are clear and out in the open. I'm quite smitten with the fella, I don't mind saying. He seems to be with me too according to his messages and text. And I believe him. Fingers crossed y'all......

Important Dates

As mentioned in another post.....I've piqued the interest of a few fellas and have chatted with several.

Last night I met Mike after work for drinks and a few games of pool at a local gay sports bar. It was very nice! Sweet guy with a great sense of humor and sparkling blue eyes. He's 50 and 6'1". I'm hoping to see him again.....soon hopefully!

This evening I'm meeting Jerry for ice cream. He is 45 and 6'4". We have chatted for a while. I like the way he types, meaning he conveys ideas very well. He seems to be cautious and a little reserved in his missives, but flirty and fun.

Thursday after work, I have plans to meet with Wes. A bodybuilder, 55 years old and 6'4". He is very professional in his communications. However he does have a fun side that intrigues me.

I'm looking forward to meeting Jerry and Wes......and really hope to see Mike again. I'm putting myself out there. It's kinda scary and exciting at the same time. I'm happy at the moment with this aspect of my life. Now if I could get a better paying job and a house in which to entertain in, I'd say my life would be close to perfect.

This morning I am #180 pounds. Only 10 more to go to my target weight, and tighten it all up.....

New Body, Old Mind

Since losing a little weight and getting into better shape with more of both to come, and having updated all my profile pics, I've been receiving emails, chat request, pokes, likes, comments, smiles, winks, gropes etc. galore! I'm loving it! While I think basing interest solely on looks or body type is rather shallow, I freely acknowledge that humans, men in particular, are very visual creatures. I have several ongoing, in depth exchanges with a couple of fellas now that show a bit promise for something more than a roll in the hay. While the exterior of me has been revamped, the personality and character is the same. I still know what I want and expect from someone. That hasn't changed, nor can I ever see it doing so. But the simple act of improving the outside has opened up more choices. I'm the same as I ever was with better marketing and packaging. I'm curious as to where this journey may lead. I'm finally excited about the social/sexual prospects it brings. Right now, I'm testing the waters, combining all I've learned from my past dating experiences, with the "new" found body, and moving toward a more complete happiness. No, I don't think a man can complete me or make me happy, that is mere icing on the cake. But the better I look, the better I feel, the more confident I become. It is actually helping me become a better rounded person. Helping me match the exterior me to the interior me. I'm completing myself so to speak. Stay tuned for further updates. My weight this morning is 182 pounds.

Happy Birthday

Today is Tommy's birthday. He turns 47, the same age as me. While the journey hasn't always been the smoothest or gone the way I would have liked, I still consider him a dear friend and hold many fond memories of our times together. I enjoy the hell out of his company and wish him the best birthday ever! Happy Birthday Tall Guy!

Off Again

Had a three day weekend that I've looked forward to, but have done little to entertain myself. Friday and Saturday, I worked about 4 hours each day, at my mother's houses, taking care of things for her. Between the two places, mowing, weed eating, tilling and even changing the oil in the tractor, I'm exhausted. I'm still off Sunday, so I'm gonna try to do nothing.

I had been chatting with a fella on Adam4Adam and finally met him last night. Let's just say I like his profile better. There won't be another meeting. Don't get me wrong he wasn't too far off in his representation of himself, but enough to turn me off. I actually think when I first met him, it was the first time I seriously considered turning around and leaving. But I have needs, they were satisfied and then I left. Guess there really is a reason I don't bother with guys that are too near by and under 30. Oh well....on to the next.

A Non-update Update

Things are still unchanged on the home front for the most part. No interest in the old home place and the trailer is still standing for the moment. My parents are doing relatively well. The doctor said my father's pneumonia is finally cleared up. He is still weak and thin and relies on my mother an awful lot. He goes for a CT scan in a few weeks to see if the cancer is spreading. We are a bit anxious about that. I'm finally making some headway financially. I actually have gotten a few more pieces of jewelry out of the pawn shop and caught up a few bills. Next check should be free and clear of any bills for a change. Woohoo! I'm still attempting to get into a regular exercise routine instead of the hit or miss I've been doing. Thankfully, I haven't gained any weight back through the holidays and parental stress. I've been able to fit into more of my old clothes, so that makes me happy. Work is work. I'm still waiting on the final word for my FMLA status. That has been a long drawn out process in itself. I'm glad the holidays are over, inventory is finished and all the returns are drawing to a close. I've been tweaking the resume to send out soon. Still want a better paying job with a better schedule.Izzy is still the best dog ever and I love on him everyday. Tommy is still Tommy and who knows if we are friends or not sometimes. Whatever. I just go with the flow when it concerns him. Jessica and I went to Chilli's last Saturday after work and had a great time with another coworker Lu Anne. It was unplanned but fun to break my routine of work, home or parents everyday. Richard, the cute guy that moved to Delaware last year, text me Happy New Year. So did Jim. Things are still slow with Jim. Not sure where that is headed. I'm just playing it by ear. I'm not waiting on him and I do chat with other guys in the interim. My social life could use some improvement. So could my sex life. I'm use to it so it isn't that big a deal. It will happen when it happens. So far so good this year. Overall, I'm happier than Ive been in a while despite it all. 2012 is gonna be an ok year I think. I'll just have to wait and see how it goes.

Finally

Jim and I spent the night together at his place last night. I've been wanting to do that since I met him October 2! He is very sweet. Very good in bed too! I enjoyed myself immensely. So did he. We kissed and cuddled and...well, you get the idea. Since it was the first time together, we didn't go "all the way". I have to have deep feelings for someone before I go there. While, I am very fond of him, and do enjoy his company, I'm not ready for that just yet. It was so nice to spoon and wake up next to someone. Hope there are more opportunities in the near future. Of course with the holidays and the crazy hours at Macy's and taking care of things for the parents, I never know. I'll just play it by ear.