Ned the Plumber

While America has been focused on Joe the Plumber(who is neither a Joe or a plumber), my parents have been focused on Ned the plumber. I'm not sure what qualifications or references this guy had but it seemed okay by them. I'm the first to admit that plumbing is never glamorous or easy. To Ned, however, it must be a never ending source of torment. From the first few minutes of meeting him, he did more complaining than work. Even my parents noticed this. My mother actually took to avoiding him. My father and I were not as fortunate. This guy not only was constantly complaining about everything but slow as well. A one day job stretched into three.
He complained about the tile hurting his hip. I gave him a pillow to sit on. He complained about the height of the vanities hurting his back. I got a small footstool to raise him up. He complained about the sinks being to far back, he couldn't get the nuts on the bottom of the faucet. I put one on and bless her heart, my mother crawled under the sink and put the other on. (wish I had a camera for that.) He complained about drilling through the bottom of the cabinet and then the floor. I did that too. Then on top of all this, my father and I crawled under the house to run the hose from the dishwasher in the island to the sink while he stayed in the kitchen! He complained about the drains in the sink being toward the back of the basin and not in the center. He complained because he couldn't attach the top of the dishwasher to the underside of the granite counter tops. All the while, someone in the family was assisting him.
Finally, when all the complaining stopped and everything was done as far as he was concerned, he tallied up the bill. Over $400.00! Now I really don't consider that terribly high for 3 sinks, a dishwasher and an ice maker, if he had done it all himself and in one day. I asked my father after Ned the plumber left, as he was putting away his checkbook, " Did you deduct our services from the bill?"