Saturday, March 12, 2011

March of Time

Another turn at getting older. It happens to everyone at least once a year. My birthday is quickly approaching. I don't dread it per say, but I'm not ready to embrace 46 just yet. I don't really feel like I've lived forty six years! I may have existed or been around that long, but not truly lived. I think that is what bothers me the most about this upcoming birthday. This close to 50, and I've done nothing meaningful with my life. No house, no retirement, very few friends I could call on, no traveling, not even decent furniture to sit on. I find that quite sad actually. All the best memories were from so long ago, until last year. I constantly feel behind, playing catch up and this 46th birthday reminds me of that. Not that I've survived this long, that I've outlived most of my friends. Not that I'm a well rounded, well adjusted, intelligent person, but of every failure in my life, even though, those are the very things that makes me who I am today. I don't know, guess this close to the half century mark, I expected more from myself, something better and absolutely different than my current circumstance. Well, guess I have something to work toward for the next 50 years.


Ray's Cowboy said...

I loved it whenI turned 46. Several of my freinds we went out to eat. I think of myself like a good bootle of wine. Every year I get better with taste, and I get more expensive.


anne marie in philly said...

you have not begun to live until you turn 50! then you determine how you want to live the second half of your life (assuming you live to 100); you take the errors of the first 50 years and vow not to repeat them.

at least that's what I have done; your mileage may vary.

Ur-spo said...

every birthday gives you a time to celebrate and to ponder 'what's next'. I hope each year gives you a sense of direction/and make the new year your best one yet.

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