Daddy Update

My father had a doctor's appointment yesterday to find out what the CT scan revealed on Tuesday. It's not good news. The cancerous tumor has begin growing again. He still has a touch of pneumonia, but was given some antibiotics for that. He can't have any more radiation treatments. He isn't strong enough for chemo. And the location and condition of his lungs don't allow surgery as an option. The upside to all of this is that it isn't growing at an alarming rate at the moment nor does it appear to be spreading elsewhere, nor did the visit warrant a sentence of a few months or less than a year. My parents are seeking out other treatment options but I'm not sure there are any left available. I'm gonna be optimistic for all our sakes and hope that something can be found. It's sad to say this and a bit selfish too, but I'm gonna say it anyway. If my father must go, then let it be quick, pain free and after the first of next year sometime. I don't want my mother to associate their anniversary in November, or Thanksgiving or Christmas with his death.

Weight Loss

At #195.
2o more to go and get tightened up.
Still a bit scary, but I can see my feet!

I feel better than I did at #252!

Yep He Is A Sweetheart

Since Jim couldn't make it to the party Saturday because of work, I decided to invite him to the mall for dinner at California Pizza Kitchen Friday night after I got off work. He wasn't sure if he would be leaving work in time, but texted me later to say he could. He drove from the University area all the way over to Southpark Mall, a distance of about 20 miles to see me and he paid for dinner! He is such a sweetheart. He had parked at the top of the hill near the restaurant entranced and walked all the way to the store to meet me. After dinner we walked to the car and he drove me to mine so I wouldn't have to walk so far. We talked a little more and had our first kiss. I was getting ready to tell him what a great kisser he was but he told me I was first! It was a great first kiss! I do wish I had a pic of him to show adorable he is, but so far I don't. I haven't had anyone treat me so nice or be so considerate in a very, very long time. I think he genuinely enjoys my company as much as I enjoy his. I can't wait to see him again! He is such a great hugger and kisser!

Dating Update

I had my first kiss and cuddle session with Phillip on Sunday evening after work. It was very pleasant snuggled up on the couch next to him, watching a little bit of tv and just talking. He is great at hugging too! It was very nice. My big concern at this point is: I don't particularly like the way he kisses. Since he is big guy, his mouth is larger than mine too, so when he kisses, I feel like he is trying to swallow my face. The little flirty kisses are very nice but the french ones aren't. I've ran across this problem before with another guy long ago. We stopped seeing each other, not necessarily because of that, but I did take it into consideration. I'm going over Wednesday night to watch movies with him. I'll see if it is any different. It could just have been the angle of approach, since we were both laying back on the sofa at the time. Overall, I still enjoyed the evening.

****Update....Phillip just canceled plans an hour before I was suppose to be at his house.****

This Saturday I'm going out with Jim. We are going to a party in Winston Salem. I'm looking forward to the party and to seeing him again. I can't wait to hug and kiss him too! Our parting hug after we left the restaurant last Sunday was wonderful. Very compatible physically. Our conversation was great too. That was one of the reasons I invited him to go. I knew the drive down and back would give us more time to learn about the other. I've spoken and emailed with him several times since the dinner. I'm quite happy thinking about him. Even a bit more tingly than with Phillip. I'll just have to wait to see how it goes.

*** Jim has a late appointment Saturday and can't make it. Damn! I'm disappointed***

Daddy Update

My father got to come home yesterday after a week in the hospital. Now maybe he can rest. I'm so relieved!

Father Hospitalized

My father is in the hospital with pneumonia on top of his emphysema and asthma. He also took a tumble in the living room this morning, hitting his forehead on the ceramic tile floor, scraping his elbow and shoulder up pretty bad. They have put him on IV antibiotics and did some type of lung treatment. Thankfully, my sister was down to visit today and stayed with them at the emergency room till 4pm. I stopped by after work so my mother could go home to change, feed their dog and take her pills. She is gonna spend the night and my sister will be there in the morning about 8am to relive her. The spots on the elbow and shoulder look really bad. His coughing is still going but not as bad as it was. He looks horrible. Both my parents seem a bit out it. My sister and I are worried sick about both of them at this point. I'm not ready for this.

This is More Like It!

While waiting around for Phillip to make plans this weekend, I struck up a conversation with a fella named Jim. He looked handsome in his pics with a very nice body, (yes, one of those sites). After chatting a bit and hitting it off so well, he invited me to dinner at Olive Garden in Monroe. Of course, I said yes! I'm glad I did too! He is even better looking in person! His profile pic didn't do him justice! He is very sweet, charming and interesting! I'm glad we were in a public place or I would have been all over him! We laughed, talked about our interest and families, work, just all sorts of things. The conversation never lagged and the chuckles were plentiful. We exchanged some more contact info and hugged good bye in the parking lot. I did sneak a kiss on his neck just to tease him a little. I'm hoping to see him again really soon!

I did finally met Phillip and his son Friday evening. He came by the store to surprise me and purchased two watches as well. He is handsome and tall. His son is gonna be heartbreaker when he gets older. For all the hours we have chatted and text we exchanged, he seems a bit too aloof for me. Maybe because he has a preteen to contend with or maybe the pressure of his job, but whatever it is, I do want a little more attention, at least in the start, than he is providing. Answering emails about plans he suggested would be a nice start. Unlike Jim, he needs some follow through. If we met again, then great. If not, no worries.

I'm putting myself out there for anyone and everyone. If I'm interested, I'll pursue, if not keep on moving. I'm not gonna get what I want with you- know- who, so I need to launch a campaign to find one who can. Look out world, here I come!

Sunday Tease

I'd love to soak in the tub with this guy!

Whine Fest

**This may or may not be wine induced**

I just wanna be loved. I wanna be held close by strong arms to a man's well muscled chest and feel protected. I wanna be kissed to the point of almost being consumed. I wanna feel like I am the only reason they get up in the morning. I want to be the reason they return home every evening. I wanna know without a doubt that I mean as much to them as their family or breathing, that they will never leave me and always be there for me. I wanna be their best friend, confidant, and lover. I wanna be the one that will support any idea they have, that will make them happy, make them laugh, make it safe and make sure they know they are cherished. I want someone that I can't imagine them not being a part of my life and them feel and express the same. All I want is to be loved and held by a strong man that I can love and hold in return.