Sunday, May 22, 2011

Worrisome Worries

I worry. A lot.
I know there is very little I can do to change things.
I worry about my mother. What it will be like after my father is gone.
They have been married 54 years this November, if he makes it that long.
I worry that she may not survive long after he is gone.
I worry that I want be able to handle it and be there for her.
These last 2 years has brought me and my father closer together than ever before.
I'm grateful for that.
I worry that maybe their money will run out and I won't be able to help out.
I worry that maybe I should forgo them buying me a house and let them just bank it.
I worry that my sister will be no help when it comes time to take of my father
or when my mother's health begins to fail at some point.
I worry that my father's illness will be prolonged and he will suffer.
I worry at the toll it will take on my mother's health if that should be the case.
I worry that when they do buy me a house, I won't be able to keep it up.
I worry that I won't be able to buy the furniture I need to replace.
I worry that after waiting all these years to finally get house, still no one will visit because it is too far away.
I worry that Izzy will pass away about the same time as my mother does, and I will be alone.
I worry that I still haven't met anyone that I can truly rely on when all this happens.
I worry that I'll begin to have health issues of my own.
I worry that I will face them by myself.
I worry that I will die alone and no one will ever know I'm gone.
I worry that I will never find a better paying job, with better hours and benefits.
I worry that if I do survive to a ripe old age, I won't have the money to retire.
I worry that I may never get to travel.
I worry that nothing will ever change.
I worry that everything in my life will change.
I worry.
A lot.

6 comments:

Cubby said...

We love you David. You'll never be alone.

Peter said...

There can be an ocean between us, but remember you're loved.

I know it's easy to say it, stop worrying! Life will deal with it when the time comes. Enjoy both their lifes when they are still around. And don't worry about your sister, when the time comes she has to deal with it herself.

Ur-spo said...

I have the same list more or less.
So be not afraid; you are not alone !

Breenlantern said...

Many of us worry like this too. The secret is to not let it cripple you. Find things to focus on that you can control and reinforce and build and try to let the rest take care of itself.

Anonymous said...

Dave
My Mom is dying of cancer now and I lost Dad some 30 years ago. But one thing at a time. 99% of the things we worry about will not come about and if it does you can and will deal. I've been there
Joe

CJ/Rick said...

Did you get that list out of my desk drawer? I wanted to add to mine that I worry a tornado will come while I'm sleeping naked.
Hang in there Dave.

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