Weekend Trip

These are from the trip to Cherokee that Tommy and I took this weekend.

We stayed at Harrah's Casino.

Had an awesome time!!!

Year End Clearance

As 2012 draws to a close, I look back and wonder how I got through it. There has been so much bad this year and so little to celebrate. Somehow, though, I found joy in the smallest of things and learned to dig deep within to find veins of resiliency I didn't know I possessed. I made it being strong my motto this year. I had to be emotionally strong for my mother after my father passed away. I had to be spiritually strong for myself, family and friends that faced hardships throughout the year. I decided to become physically stronger by getting serious about my weight loss and working out at the gym. There are many things, both good and bad, that I never posted about here. They were just too personally or too painful. I look forward to 2013. There are many changes already coming down the pike that I am aware of and surely some that will catch me by surprise. Regardless of how or when they arrive in the new year, I'll face them head on with as must resolve as I can muster. I refuse to give up or give in. Bad things will always happen. There will always be something to challenge the way you live, think or do things. The trick is to adapt quickly, regroup and move on. I have great hope that 2013 will be a stellar year for me to move forward on many fronts in my life. I'm ready. Bring it!

Um, Ok

Busy! Busy! Busy!
That is the only way to describe things at the moment. My work schedule is hectic and playing havoc with getting anything else accomplished, though I have managed to keep up my exercise time at the gym. This week, I'm scheduled for 54 hours! A far cry from the norm of only 35. These 10 hour days aren't too bad, but require lots of prep work and planning to make sure everything is taken care of before I leave home. I been hitting the gym anywhere from 230am to 5am in an effort to keep on track for my goals. I also try to get back home for 30 minutes to an hour so Izzy, isn't here for longer than 12 hours by himself. It makes me sad to leave him inside that long, but there isn't anything I can do about it. He seems to understand and has been so sweet. I'm off today, so I'll spend a lot of time with him to make up for it.

My mother is having a hard time with this holiday. She is stressing and missing my father something fierce. I wish I could spend more time with her, but work is getting in the way. This year, we will be going to my sister's house for Christmas, so we will be trying to squeeze that trip into an already hectic day. My sister thought it would help out my mother and her mother in law, who lost her oldest son a few months ago, to not have to worry with readying the house and meals at their respective homes. Maybe it will help. It seems to have taken a little of the joy away from my mother though, but she agreed to go and hasn't changed her mind, though asked several times. We'll see.

I'm anxiously awaiting the new schedule for the week of Christmas. I need to know what my hours are for Christmas Eve. I'm going to Midnight Mass with Tommy and I need to squeeze in a visit with my mother as well, since it will be her first without my father. I'm trying to make everybody happy. I just hope we close at a decent time and I'm off or either scheduled to leave earlier than closing that day. Of course, I have to have a little time with the dog as well before running off somewhere else that night after working too.

My Christmas shopping is coming along nicely. I'm almost finished with only 3 left to purchase. This year's budget was a stretch, but I've managed to find some good bargains on the stuff I was wanting to give. I should be finished by this Friday and have everything wrapped by Tuesday, my next day off.

I'll be glad when this year is over. It has been rough and tested me in so many ways. I'm just glad to have made it this far.......

July 4th Pics

Happy Birthday

Today is Tommy's birthday. He turns 47, the same age as me. While the journey hasn't always been the smoothest or gone the way I would have liked, I still consider him a dear friend and hold many fond memories of our times together. I enjoy the hell out of his company and wish him the best birthday ever! Happy Birthday Tall Guy!

Happy Birthday Keith!

Repost from March 19th 2009

Tomorrow would have been my best friend's 47th birthday. He was eight days older than me. We usually celebrated our birthdays together. It's hard to believe he has been gone for 11 years now. At the same time, it seems like a whole other life time ago. I often wonder what he would be like now had he lived. He was doing well in Atlanta with his antique shop. He loved to travel. Always on the go somewhere. Rarely would you catch him at one place for very long. I miss our hanging out together. Most people thought we were a couple, we were together so much. We worked together, partied together, vacationed together, even slept together, but we never crossed the line into sex. We had seen each other at their best and at their worst. We always had each other's backs and stood up for the other no matter what. If we hadn't been friends, I would have never experienced a lot of the things in my life. I've always been grateful for that. Of course as with any type of relationship, there were rough spots occasionally, but we never let it interfere with our friendship. We always forgave and forgot. Other than my most recent ex, some of my fondest memories are with him. Two people who couldn't have been more different but found common ground. Our friendship lasted for 16 years and still continues even after his death. Happy Birthday Keith!

Hereafter

Now I turn toward taking care of my mother like I promised my father I would. I'm going to make every attempt to stop by before and after work everyday as long as I'm not closing. Just because it would be too late to visit. I'm gonna call her on the way home on those days before she goes to bed. My biggest fear, concern is that, now that she is alone, something will happen and there will be no one around to help. Even in my father's condition, he could have called for help if nothing else. I'm hoping to convince her the keep her phone with her at all times, even in the house, just in case of an emergency. The thought of her laying helpless or worse, unconscious, or still worse, dead, and no one there terrifies me. I know the time will come when I will be the one most likely to find her, but I don't want to hasten the time because there was no one to render assistance. The next few weeks is sure to be filled with people coming and going and calling, I'm worried about the months and maybe years that follow, when things clam down a bit. She has spent her adult life taking care of people, I want to take care of her and protect her. And when her time comes, I don't want her to be alone.

Tizzies & Such

I'm in a tizzy over all that is going on right now around here. I'm worried about my father and my mother. I wonder what will happen to my mother when my father is gone? I'm concerned that my mother may not live long after he is gone. They have really never been apart much in their 55 year marriage. Hospice will be helping once he is released. That will a great relief on my mother I'm sure. It also means nothing more can be done but make him comfortable. I've requested the forms be sent for Intermittent Family Leave. I figured that way I can be there when they need me, whenever they need me, without jeopardizing my job. I'm concerned about the old place selling. I would like for my father to see it sold before he passes, but in this economy, I'm not sure that will happen. I would also like for him to know that I have a house of my own, of course, that depends on the latter. I worry that none of this will be done before both are gone and I will have to deal with my sister in these issues.

On other notes, Jim and I are still in touch, not as frequently but with things going on with me and him helping look after a friend that had back surgery there isn't much time. I think the interest is still there. I'm looking forward to a third date and maybe a little more. Phillip is totally out of the picture. He hasn't responded to the last text or emails and had unfriended me on Facebook. Guess that means he isn't interested. Fine by me. He was too flaky for me. Tommy has reached out and communicated. I'm not ready to hang out with him again, but it was a bit of a relief to have him to talk to about my father since he went through the same thing with his mother in June of this year. I'm playing it by ear with all of them. I have other things going on now. If it works out with Jim great. If Tommy and I can be friends great. If nothing more comes of either Jim or Tommy, I'm cool with that too. I've come to learn that it is more their loss than mine. I bring a lot to the table. What to they bring?

The Hangover

Yesterday, Tommy texted me if I wanted to come over for drinks with him and Jessica at his house. Of course I went. Had a blast too! We listened to music, danced, talked, laughed, hung out and got really drunk! Jessica and I stayed over night as we were way too wasted to go anywhere. I offered to sleep on the couch but Jessica wasn't having it. I might as well have. Even though I was in the guest room across the hall from Tommy's bedroom, the bed was spinning so bad, I slept (or passed out) on the floor. I woke up at 7am, went downstairs to smoke, then woke Tommy up so he could call in this morning. Surprisingly just a simple poke on his bicep roused him. I laid down again but across the guest bed and slept till about 930. I went downstairs, Jessica was up and Tommy joined us shortly. We gathered up our stuff, thanked him for being a gracious host and hugged each other good bye. We all have done nothing but lay around today recovering from last night. But it sure was fun!

I'll Drink To That

What do I want to talk about? No idea. There are so many things running through my head right now. Of course Tommy and his situation, but I'm actually weary of posting about him. Same with post about my parents. Same with post about work. Sadly, that is about all my life consist of at the moment. Maybe that is the problem, nothing is really happening that is worthy of a post.

Jessica, Kevin and myself did go out for martinis Thursday after work. Yes Tommy was invited but didn't join us. We went to a Mexican restaurant. It was wonderful. Had a great time hanging out and sweating on the patio. The drinks were great and on special. The bartender was adorable but married. The conversation was wonderful as always. It was a very enjoyable evening without spending a fortune. Hopefully we can all get back there soon.

Bar @ 316 photos

A good time was had by all!!

High School Gang Christmas Party

A good time was had by all. I had to leave early to be at work at 6am on Christmas Eve. Still had fun with the old gang!

Christmas Party

I had a great time with new and old friends at the Christmas party last night. The house is outstanding and decorated to the hilt for the holidays. The food was yummy. But the people, oh the people, were fabulous! This little group has quickly accepted me as their own this year. They have got to be some of the kindest, sweetest people in these parts. I met all of them for the first time at the toga party this summer, except Bart, whom I've known for 20 years and reconnected with through Facebook. (Pictured with me above)

These events make me both happy and sad. Happy because they are so many wonderful people still around and new ones to meet. Sad, for all the ones I've lost over the years, with only memories and no photos to recall the good old days. Mixed blessings and such, I'm still fortunate, regardless of what circumstance I find myself in. It does get better.

Old Friend

Dan and Willie (from the Holiday of Giving party) called to invite me out for drinks as they were in town for dinner with Willie's mom on Saturday night. I almost declined since I had been at work and was wore out. I decided to go since I doubted I would see them before Christmas. I'm glad I did! It was great seeing them. It was fabulous to run into an old friend I haven't seen in about 20 years! That is Scott and I in the pic above. I asked a friend to use his camera phone and email it to me. I worked with him at the first job I had in high school. Our paths crossed for several years afterward, till he moved to Florida. It was so great to see him. I was gobsmacked. We chatted and got caught up on lots of goings on. I even called my crush who was a mutual friend and coworker from back in the day. (Atlas, he wasn't able to join us on such short notice, so late at night, but he seemed ok with me calling him.) Scott told me that he appreciated the little comments, chats and pokes on Facebook. It helped him overcome the loneliness he was feeling after being diagnosed with HIV. (Number 8 of my friends.) He is doing well and just about to finish up his PHD in Criminology. I'm proud of him. I wish he were closer.

Pool Party

Last night's pool party with the old high school gang! Good times!

Party Mayhem

I had a blast at the pool party yesterday!

So I was told!

Biltmore Blast

Yesterday was amazing! Had a great, trouble free drive to Asheville to meet up with Java, Joe, Larry and his hubby Greg. Spent a wonderful afternoon, chatting and enjoying Biltmore House with them. I had a blast! I needed it too! They are all such wonderful people. I'm glad to count them as friends.I hope to get to see them all again one day, and any other bloggers that will be in the area! I have some pics to post. I had hope to scan the one good one of all of us taken at Biltmore, but my scanner doesn't want to cooperate today. I'll have to wait to see if Larry has better luck when he returns from vacation! In the the meantime, the next post is some of the pics that did turn out well, or at least I think they did!

Party Over There

Later this evening, a buddy and I will be

heading to Winston Salem, NC, to a Wine and Cheese

Party of a mutual friend. It should be a nice

way of welcoming Fall.

A Wonderful Reunion

Just a bigger version, otherwise unchanged.

Super nice guy, drove up from Atlanta.
(Horrible pic though)

Best pic of the evening of my longest, dearest friends.

The dark blob in the right corner, first guy to ever call
me a faggot in 8th grade. Revenge is sweet. Now,
he is as around as tall, balding, dresses like a slob
and has 7 kids!