Weekend Trip

These are from the trip to Cherokee that Tommy and I took this weekend.

We stayed at Harrah's Casino.

Had an awesome time!!!

Howdy! How you doin'?

Things are going as smoothly as possible with my new position at work. I really love it. It is so much better than being on the sales floor, though I do help in fine jewelry when I need some extra hours or they need coverage. The hours will be increasing here shortly as the store gears up for the fall season. I hope enough to be eligible for insurance again.

My guy and I still talking but not really seeing each other. Since his son has moved home, there isn't any place else to go. Guess that is the trouble with seeing someone who isn't out. Though I have let him know I'm willing to work around this circumstance, I haven't seen the same effort from him. So I guess fuck buddies was all he wanted. Oh well, doctor or not, I've moved on.

I have actually have been seeing 3 other guys. While my doctor friend really turns my crank, the others are out, just as close and can give me what I want outside of the bedroom in a relationship. Somehow I've managed to juggle my work schedule, doing things for my mothers, and seeing 4 guys (of course, Doc dropping the ball freed up some time). I've decided I'm not getting excited about any of them. I like them. I enjoy the time we spend together. The sex is nice too. But, I'm just not going to put myself out there emotionally like I have. It would be nice to actually put some of this hard earned knowledge to use. So gonna try to be as detached as everyone else and see where it goes.

I have also started a little side project. I'm doing male nude photography. Currently, I offer my services for free to any man who wants tasteful, artistic nudes, semi nudes or such for their personal use. I had my first photo shoot last Friday with a friend that has turned out very well. The little group I set up has responded very well with offers to model and great positive feedback on the resulting images. After 500+ pics during a 2 1/2 session, it netted a stunning variety of 130 useable images. I have another shoot booked for next Saturday morning with two other friends. And three more planned before the end of the month. Tommy is actually planning one in mid August. His won't be nude, because he is too paranoid about his job finding out, but he has actually booked and is paying for an overnight trip to a casino in the mountains for us to do his photo shoot at. This has been interesting so far. I hope to turn this little project into a money making opportunity by the end of the year. Right now, doing it for free helps me gain experience and build a portfolio. As much as I enjoy it, the time and effort involved won't allow me to do it free for long. I'm happy with where this seems to be going.

I've tried some more of the Advocare products. Honestly, they are some of the most amazing supplements I have ever purchased. The results I see in Tommy and his brother's  physiques are honestly astounding! My personal results have not been as dramatic, but great nonetheless. That little belly roll is s-l-o-w-l-y melting away. I would highly recommend to anyone who want to lose weight, trim down, bulk up or just live a healthier lifestyle to try AdvoCare products. Here is a link to check it out for yourself  AdvoCare.

So that is what's happening in my neck of the woods. I'm plugging along, making the best of things.....Hope all my readers are doing well.

Before & After

Thankfully there are no pics of me at #252 pounds.

Me & My Guy

Well, I guess things are going very well with me and my fella. We just past the two month mark! That is something that hasn't happened to me in very long time. Sunday we spent the afternoon together at the naked pool. We talked, made goo-goo eyes at each other, swim and shared a little PDA. It was heavenly! I guess if driving almost an hour and a half, there and then back home doesn't show genuine interest at this point then nothing will. As I've mentioned before he is still "closeted" or at least not out to family or coworkers. He is a little older, so I'm not surprised. I don't mention it. That is his to deal with, if, when and how he sees fit. I'm just enjoying our times together, the sex and the texting. I have no expectations. Hard for me but not forcing anything. His two sons have moved back with him temporarily. Of course that does present an obstacle but also a chance to get together outside of his place and the bedroom. I'm not disappointed in the turn of events, but look at it as a challenge as to how much we really want to be with each other. I'm still very happy with him and he with me. He calls me "stud muffin". And I smile........

Annoying

Sad to say, I'm not seeing the weight loss or muscle gain/toning I want or expected after all most 6 months at the gym. I still have my little belly roll that refuses to go away! It pisses me off! I can not cut anything else from my diet without stop eating all together and that ain't possible. I could work out more often, for longer periods if I can find more time in my schedule. I can't believe I still look and feel as fat as I did when I started the gym 6 months down the road! Apparently I'm doing something wrong. I realize I'm not in my thirties any more and my body won't respond to the diet and exercise like it once did, but really? There should be something more visible than a bigger butt and biceps going on here by now. I'm gonna talk with one of the trainers at the gym to see if they can give me some pointers. I need something to turbo charge my workouts and/or my metabolism!

Howdy!

Been an interesting month so far.....Lots of stuff going on, all of it good so far....

My mother finally sold the old place. She closed last week on it. Yeah! Now she can stop worrying about being "broke". And I can stop worrying about trying to keep everything up at both places.

I finally got moved to the support team at work. I start my new schedule and position in Merchandising the week of the 19th. I'm excited about having a set schedule. No more nights and weekends, except on rare occasions or Christmas. I have to get use to being at work at 6am, but the getting off at 1pm, 2pm or 3pm is gonna be wonderful! I still have to figure out if I want to go to the gym in the mornings before work, which I prefer, or switch to afternoon evenings.....we'll see.

I've discovered a new line of products by Advocare that has really helped/enhanced my workouts and health goals. They are awesome! For years, I would try various products that GNC offered only to return the unused portion because they never did what they claimed. I'm so excited about this stuff! I started the 10 day Cleanse and feel amazing only 2 days in! I'll keep y'all posted on other product results as I try them out....

Also, me and my man have pasted the one month anniversary phase. Woohoo! Things are still going well and seem to be headed in the right direction. We still text almost daily and say little flirty things to each other. Our times together are getting a little longer and involve a little something extra besides just sex. We talk and share lots of personal stuff without being pushy or intrusive.....The pace is slow but steady and consistent. I like where we are at the moment and always look forward to seeing him. He spoils me with attention. I'm happy. He is too.

My next change begins Wednesday. I'm going on the patch again to quit smoking. I've had enough of the expense and I need to keep my promise to my father. I figure while detoxing on the 10 day Cleanse, it would be a great time to do it. With all the junk out of my system, and all the water I drink now, the patch will have a better chance of helping with the cravings.....

So there it is in a nutshell. Things are looking up. They are not perfect yet, but they are heading in the right direction. Yeehaw!

Dating Update

I'm smitten. Blown away actually. Sorry, I'd like to have his pic up, but need to protect his privacy in a small town. I'm over the moon. I'm trying to take it slow and not force anything too quickly. So hard for me to do! We text/chat/email/message just about everyday. He is so sweet! I can't believe my good fortune. All because I "winked" at him because he had a nice chest. We talked for a while before I ever saw his face pic. I liked what I read. Apparently he did too! I have know idea where this is going. It may turn into just fuck buddies. While not exactly what I'm looking for, it will suffice till someone else comes along. We haven't had that talk yet, but I'm thinking it should be soon. I think of him throughout the day and smile in contentment. He makes me happy. He makes me feel protected, appreciated and cherished. Honestly, don't think anyone has made me feel that way since my first when I was 19! Just have to take it one day at a time and hope I don't scare him away or he finds someone better! Fingers crossed y'all!

(I'm not gonna tell his name just yet for fear of jinxing it.)

Look What I Did

 It started out as simple pad at the door and division between the gravel and the lawn.

 Then my mother wanted it a bit wider with little planting beds on either side.

 But connecting the two seem like a better idea.

 Of course it needed to be just little bit wider.

 So this is how it ended up.

 Then something for the back yard, a flower bed was needed.

So one on the opposite side of the garage door was added for balance.

So now the garage is a grand entrance. She is now thinking the front yard needs some attention. Oh boy.....

It's My Birthday

In 48 years, I've learned to cherish those precious moments with those I hold dear; to give of myself, till there is none left to give; to allow others to be themselves and love them for it; realized that money, people, or possessions cannot make me happy, unless I am happy with myself; to treat others the way I want to be treated; that I'm capable of and much stronger than I ever thought possible; that I honor my Creator by just being the best I can be and that above all else, Love really does conquer all. Today I turn 48. It has been a roller coaster ride called my life. And while it may not be perfect, it is mine. I claim it and I'm blessed because of it. Thanks to everyone for sharing the journey this far. There is still many more awesome things to come!

Amazing Beauty

Through my eyes, I wish you could see
The beauty that is you,
Never ending, amazing beauty
Your smile, your touch, your eyes

You say my name
The whispers of angels could be no sweeter.
The warmth of your embrace so dearly missed
So consuming when you are near.
Wrapped in your arms, so protected.

Just a glance my way and I'm defenseless.
Soulful eyes that gaze into mine.
Lost in you and I'm suddenly found.

Lingering kisses, lasting and sweet
Leaves me wide eyed and alive.
Just a touch and I quiver
My body becomes flushed with desire.
My soul on fire.

The never ending, amazing beauty
That is you.
Through my eyes, I wish you could see.

The beauty that is you.
Never ending, amazing beauty.

Equality

Dating Games

Well, after my short break from trying to meet a nice guy, I'm back in the saddle. I've met some really nice fellas in the last couple of months.

• Beau - mid 50's, divorced, 4 kids, sweet as can be, stayed overnight 3 times with him since January, we have chatted for almost a year before meeting, has potential and makes me happy.
• Marty - mid 40's, a couple of years younger than me, very close to where I live, some high school friends set us up, many similarities in our lives, our first time together was awesome, lots of potential, but not sure if he is wanting the same as me though has shown extreme interest, definitely staying in touch to see.
• Keith - early 50's, very nice, handsome, successful, divorced, but not out, so doubt this will go beyond our first meeting other than chatting.
• Dominick - mid 50's, OMG hot, and intelligent, funny, a truly great vibe to be around, divorced, with 5 kids, 3 or so grandkids, a job that requires travel, and a lot of interest to keep him busy, lots of potential and attraction on my part, but when would he find time for me?
• Lee - mid 50's, sweet guy, awesome skills, but bisexual, not looking for LTR, so no point in bothering unless I want a hook up.
• Norman - Mid 50's, back in the picture from last year, still hugely attracted to each other, but the same problem persist -his "ex" still hasn't moved out yet, so leaves me wondering.
• Mike - mid 50's, sweet guy from New York, works hard, close by, but seems more friend material than husband material.

My favorites right now are Beau and Marty. It's a toss up if I had to choose one today.  Norm is fun and flirty and though we have made tentative plans, I really don't see it going anywhere again. While Beau has 4 kids and an ex wife, he seems to have forged a gay identity separate from his old life. Marty is honestly everything I want in a husband, but while his initial interest was through the roof, once he got what he wanted, he quickly cooled off. Some how I'm not sure what to make of it. He is a Gemini and I certainly know how that goes. I'm just taking it one day at a time. I chat with guys all the time online. Very few do I met in person and even less do I hook up with. While I am accessible, I'm not a slut and have no intention of being. I want a long term relationship not a fling or just a roll in the hay. I'm worth the effort and the one for me is too.

I want a husband, soul mate, best friend, lover all rolled into one. While we don't have to have exactly the same taste or agree on everything, I would like to share common values, similar backgrounds. Age doesn't matter much to me. Younger is fine, but not more than 5 years, I think. Older is great but not more than 8 to 10, 5 years would be ideal. I want to grow old together, not be a caregiver.  I'm hopeful. I put myself out there in the fray, sort through the BS and flakes and have met some really nice guys. While a nice guy is a cool find, there has to be something else, that spark, and it has to be mutual. It's ok if it only turns to a friendship. I'll move on. No biggie. Unless I give it the opportunity to become something more, I never know. I've also learned over the past 2.5 years with Tommy: pay attention to the signs and know when to walk away.

Embracing Change

While I roll with the punches and go with the flow most of the time, there are others when I fight it tooth and nail. Having to let my jewelry go to the pawn shop hurt a lot more than I thought it would. I'm not sure if it was the fact that each piece I had purchased over the years marked a milestone or special moment in my life or the monetary fact that I lost $15,000 worth of gold and diamonds for less than $600. It stings nevertheless. I've struggled for a year to keep up with the monthly payments. The pawn shop has been very understanding in working with me. Other than some original art work I own, that was the only things of value I owned. Now all five pieces are gone and I can never replace them.

I thought living without running water since September was bad enough. But I managed that by joining a gym to work out and was able to shower there. My childhood friend Tom, gave me a key to his house so I can shower there anytime I need. I thought having to turn in my new 2007 Saturn Aura with less than 3,000 miles on it was bad, but my father brought me a used car. The first I've driven since high school. I though losing my best friend Keith was hard. I thought losing my grandparents was difficult. Losing my father was even worse.

It seems all the changes in my life over the last decade or so has been for the worse, not the better. I'm tired and weary of the constant struggle. The constant uphill battle to make a better life for myself. To be happy. There is just too much change and none of it good. While I embrace change and accept it as a fact of life, enough is enough. Something good needs to happen. Something that will make a positive difference in my life. Waiting on winning the lottery ain't it. Finally selling the other house isn't either. Should my mother buy me a house, I can't afford to pay the taxes, up keep and insurance on it. Every job I apply for I hear nothing back.

So now I'm trying a different tactic. I'm letting go of the outcomes, the expectations, the high hopes, the pie in the sky dreams of happiness. Enough with the disappointments, loss, and heartache. I just don't give a damn any more. I don't care. I will do what needs to be done and to hell with everything else. I'm over it. I'm over this miserable existence called my life. I'm done. That is change I can embrace.

Food For Thought

"Unless you are selling manure, it doesn't pay to give a shit." ~ Ultra Dave

Where I Stand

I don't give up. I don't give in. But I do give and give till I'm weary and worn out. Of my time, my support, my heart and despite all the trails and tribulations of life, I still have more to give. There is still hope to find a worthy individual to receive all I have to offer.

One Year

Today my father has been gone for a year. It seems like it was yesterday. I know you are watching over your family as you always have. We miss you terribly, but know you are not suffering in a much better place. I love you!

Under Contract

Finally, after two long, hard years, an offer was made on the old place! Woohoo! My mother is so relieved! So am I! It will be a huge burden lifted once the closing is completed the first of April. No more mowing, trimming, pruning, etc! Yippee! Now I can devote that time to taking care of the other place. That 3+ hours will come in handy over the summer! My mother is excited because no more taxes and maintenance on a place she isn't living in. I wish my father had lived long enough to see it sold. A nice Russian couple made the offer. They wanted the extra land to build two homes for their sons. I think it will be a great place for them. It sure was for us. Many memories there, so selling it is bittersweet, but the time was right. I hope everything goes well, between now and closing. One less thing to keep holding us back. Now we can move forward a little.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Work It

Since joining the gym near the first of November, I have gained about 6 pounds roughly. After some research on the internet, I did discover a study that suggested about a 3 pound gain in muscle a month, so guess I'm on target. I'm not as concerned with the weight as the way my body looks to me. I'm the one that has to be happy in it and with it. I can see the tone and definition in my chest and legs and some tightness in my biceps along with a little growth too, I think. My butt feels firmer but doesn't look like I want it to just yet. My belly roll is only slightly diminished, but I can feel the tightness in the muscle under it. It will take a while to whittle away the remaining fat. I have managed to get my BMI down to 17%, higher than the 10% of years gone by, but according to the charts, it puts me in the healthy and acceptable range for my age, height and build. Of course, I'd love to get back to the 10%, but if I can carve another 3 or 4 percentage points off of that number I'd be thrilled. I am still eating properly, watching my portions and calories, but I have added more lean protein to help build muscle mass. After a work out, I eat a can of Albacore tuna in water and a banana. Most of my meals, unless dining with my mother consist mostly of foods rich in fiber, like rice cakes, lots of fruit, and lean protein meats. Friends that haven't seen me in a few months are shocked at my "sudden" transformation. Of course, there isn't anything sudden about it. It has taken a lot of willpower, determination, backsliding, and experimentation to get this far. I realize the quest is far from over. Losing the weight was only half the battle. The toning and sculpting of muscle will take about as long, but I'm prepared. Truth be told, I love going to the gym. I like the lifting, the cardio, the sweating. I like the feeling of accomplishment as I leave. I like observing the others in the gym work toward their goals. I find it all very inspiring.  I know to reach my long term goal of looking like a shorter Colton Ford, may take a little longer, but I'm working on it. My short term goal is to have a flatter stomach and tighter, more rounded butt by May. It's doable. I just wanna look good in a thong or at the naked pool this summer!

Applied

Last Friday, I had a two hour interview with a local Cadillac dealership. It was the second one with them. I think I did very well. Now I just have to wait to see if they offer me the job. The potential to earn more than I currently make is certainly there. It is much closer to home and the schedule is more stable. My biggest concern is how the sales staff is paid. I've sold cars before and made good money at it. They all had salary draw set ups. This one does not. It is an hourly wage of $7.50 with incremental "bonus" money added for each car and once a certainly level is reached, more added retroactively to your paycheck. Great potential, but it scares me. In this economy, I don't think my bills would be covered at $7.50 an hour till I sold a car or two or five or whatever the magic number was. Yes, if right off the bat I sold 5 cars the first two weeks, I'd be golden. That isn't a given or absolute. While I was there, I saw hardly any traffic on the lot at all. Granted, they expect and give you cold call leads to help set appointments, which basically makes it a well defined numbers game, but that uncertainty weights very heavy on me. Right now, I'm just gonna wait for the phone call saying I have the job if I want it. Then I'll see if it is the right move for me. I don't care for Macy's but I do know about what my checks will be every week and can plan accordingly. I just don't wanna go from the frying pan into the fire, so to speak.

Precious and Few

Just like the song says about stolen moments, "They are precious and few that two can share." My mother was wondering today if my father knew he only had 18 more days left. I suspect he knew they were numbered, but doubt he knew the exact amount he had left. It did get me to thinking though. Having lost so many friends and family over the last decade or so, I really do try my best to make the most of every moment I'm with them. I want to remember, through pictures, memories, or stories, of how a person made me feel. To savor the moment, to capture it forever, to never let them go. But sometimes you have to. Not that you want to, but you just have to because of circumstance, death, or distance. To me, it doesn't matter, because I still hold them close to my heart. I still have the memories and the shared moments. I still have the photographs. I miss so many people now gone from me. Their impact on me is absorbed, so ingrained, so much a part of me, it's hard to separate. Not that I would ever willingly do so. Time marches on. Things change, but there is comfort in remembering the people you have cared about from the past, whether family or friend. The happier times. The carefree laughter. Just the simple joy of being, sharing and caring with another human being that is just as grateful for having you in their life as you are in having them in yours. It really does add texture, depth, and meaning to your life.

Thursday Tease

Maybe I should take up line dancing.....

Friday Tease

Hope he is calling me

Passing Thoughts

Well, after nearly a month, a $2,000 repair bill, and over $300 in gas, I finally have my car back! Woohoo! It feels weird after getting use to the Yukon and the Explorer. I feels as if I'm sitting on the ground almost. I keep reaching for the gear shift on the steering column instead of the console. And the ride feels rougher than I recall. Oh well, I'm still glad to have my car back.

I've been noticing little things about my mother that disturb me slightly. It isn't anything major, just little things that may point to trouble down the road as far as her health is concerned. On the way to pick up my car, she came way too close for my comfort to rear ending two cars. Both for no apparent reason. Both were not sudden stops. There was adequate room to come to a stop or at least slow down without slamming on the brakes. We weren't really talking. She had her eyes on the road. Why she waited till almost upon them to hit the brakes is beyond me. Thankfully, she did and there were no accidents this time. I've also noticed that she seems to have trouble staying between the lines. She tends to drift back and forth a lot. Almost to the point that I'm afraid she will run off the road. Again, so far she hasn't, at least while I've been in the car. Also, not that her house has become a pig sty, but she isn't keeping it as spotless as she once did. I've noticed spiderwebs and dust bunnies here and there. Most of that I've chalked up lately to her injured shoulder, so I'm only making mental notes of it, instead of saying anything to her. I know she values her independence and I wouldn't want anything to take that from her. The fall last month shook her confidence enough. But I am watching and making mental notes. She turns 74 this year and her health could be a little better, but otherwise, she is fit for her age. I'm just concerned.

I had an internet interview for a local Cadillac dealership. I've never done one that required video responses before, so it was interesting. I hate the way I sound recorded. I think I looked horrible and sounded even worse. I didn't have a webcam so after work, I went to Tommy's and used his. He said he thought I did very well on my responses. I just hope they think I did a great job on my responses! I'd love to make more money. I need to make more money! Hopefully, I will hear something positive by the middle of the week or so. Wish me luck!

Your Love

I swim,
I crawl,
I elbow,
through the engulfing darkness called my life

I fight for what I believe in
I fight for what I want
a better me,
a better life
My battle cry of love, liberty, hope

I fight against the despair
the overwhelming sadness of a life gone awry
I languish,
I flounder

But ...
I don't give up
I won't give up
I can't give up

I can't do it without you
My rock,
My foundation
You give me strength
You give me shelter
You give me hope
You give me love

That is all  I need....
Your love.

Monday Tease

Awesome!

Wednesday Tease

My Goal

I'm hoping to look like this fella

after about 6 months of the gym!

More Stuff

This new year feels a lot like the old one. Of course only 9 days in to it, there is ample time for it to change.

I spoke with the mechanic yesterday about the car. Yep, the pistons are warped. Figures. So it will be $2,000 bucks to fix. Thankfully my mother said she would pay it and I could just make payments to her. I honestly don't know what I would do without her! It hurts to have her to pay though, so any money not going to bills will be going to her. I just hope I can continue to make payments on my jewelry at the pawn shop. All I can do is my best. Let things fall where they may. Nothing more I can do about it.

On the work front, I'm being moved from the sales floor to the support team. It feels like a demotion almost. I'll lose my full time status and my benefits as well. I have mixed feeling about it. I do think I will be happier on the support team than sales as it is more suited to my talents. It also has a fixed schedule. No weird shifts and coming and going times. No nights and no weekends! I keep my same salary. I'm looking at it as an opportunity. With a set schedule, I can may find another part time job or even return to school to further me along a career path. And certainly have more time to search for a better full time job. Like I said, mixed blessing. I haven't told my mother yet as I don't want her to worry and secondly, they haven't given me a date for it change yet. All I know is it will be some time after inventory, which is the 12th and the 13th. So wish me luck.....

My mother did receive an offer on the old place. She refused it. Can't say I blame her. It was low balled pretty bad. The tax value is $615,000. The old asking price was $550,000. It is currently listed at $395,000. They offered $325,000. So, unless they make a better counter offer, they are out of the running. Thankfully there is still two other potential buyers. One of which just sold their home and hopefully will make an offer shortly, since that is what they were waiting on. So now some more waiting.....

The car ordeal and ensuing expenses threw me for a loop. I was really struggling with things as it were and guess that was the tipping point. I was very depressed for about a week. I didn't go the the gym at all. Partly because I was depressed and just not in the mood, but also driving my sister's Yukon and my mother's Explorer just takes too much freaking gas. Between the 2 vehicles and towing, I've spent $300 bucks.....so much for saving my overtime pay or taking care of anything else I had hoped to do. Like new eyeglasses or tires for the car, much less getting any jewelry out of pawn. Somehow, I'll find away to get a new set of tires, hopefully that doesn't involve my mother. As for the eyeglasses, luckily, Tommy's prescription is perfect for me. I'm hoping at some point maybe I can borrow his, take them to a Lenscrafters, copy the prescription and have them placed in my old frames. It would be cheaper, if they can do that. I'll check into it a little later when all the car crap is out of the way.

At least now my head is cleared somewhat and I'm thinking clearly about what needs to be done. I'm back at the gym again which helps a lot with keeping the cobwebs at bay. Now to just get moving on updating the resume and polishing my interviewing skills.....2013 better be good to me!

Catching Up

Here is some of the things going on with me.....

Two days before Christmas, the timing belt on my car decided to break on my way home after working a 10 hour day. Thankfully, I was only about a mile from home. A tow truck was called and delivered the car to a repair shop. Of course, they were closed the entire week of Christmas up to January 2nd. So it was towed to another local shop that opened the Wednesday after Christmas. It is uncertain if the pistons were warped or not when it broke. So now, once that is replaced and the engine back together, they will be checked to see if they were damaged and need to be repaired. I've been driving my mother's car and my sister's, which I picked up on Christmas day and drove back. Alternating back and forth if my mother doesn't need to go anywhere. So far, the big Yukon of my sister's has cost me $85 in gas for about 4 days of driving. My mother's has cost me $35 and I had filled my car up with $37 in gas, plus the two towing charges of $100. Guess where my overtime earnings went?

Also on Christmas day, I left early from my sister's since I had to be at work at 645 am for the first of 3 more 10 hour days at work. My mother fell down the basement stairs, missing the last 6 steps and landing hard on her right shoulder. She is bruised and in an arm sling for a separated shoulder bone. Thankfully, nothing is broken, but the bruises are almost neon yellow they are so bad. She hit the corner of the stairs pretty bad. A few inches higher she would have broken a rib or two, a couple lower, she would have broken her hip. She has been in some pain with the shoulder and tries to rest as much as possible. Nothing but time will heal that.

Obviously, I didn't make it to the Midnight Mass with Tommy after my car died. I hated to miss it but just couldn't make it without transportation. Maybe next year. I did go to the service with my mother after getting up at 330 am to go to the gym and working a 10 hour day. Somehow, I managed to stay awake through the hour and half service without falling asleep.

My favorite cousin lost her husband Wednesday night to lung cancer. After surgery and chemo treatments, he was released into Hospice care Monday. She is handling it well so far. I'm sure it will sink in after a few days. I remember their wedding as a youngster. It was the first I ever attended. Funeral arrangements haven't been made yet. I hope I can make it depending on my schedule at work.

Since September, I've been without running water at home. The leak I had was bad enough to run the water bill up over $400. Even with me turning the water on and off as needed, it was just too high to pay. I haven't told my mother, nor will I anytime soon, especially with the car repair looming and her property taxes due. The side benefit of  joining the gym is showers and toilets. Other times, a friend of mine since middle school, that is local, has given me the key to his house to use whenever I need to. Bless his heart. He has no idea how much that helps. I fill gallon jugs for water for Izzy to drink. I do laundry at my mother's when  I get the chance. I fibbed and told her my washer wasn't working. I bring the damp clothes home to dry as to not run her power bill up. It's more of an inconvenience than anything. It requires planning but manageable.

I had planned on using my overtime to finally get my jewelry out of the pawn shop. Guess that isn't gonna happen......

So now y'all up to speed......