Passions. I have many or none, depending on how you define it. Tommy and I actually had this discussion not long ago when I was over. He wanted to know what I like to do/ dreamed of doing/ got excited about / felt passionate about. I couldn't think of anything then and can't now. There are many things I enjoy doing and wish I could do more often, but there isn't one singular thing that sustains my interest for months at a time, much less years at a stretch. My interest wanes, my attention drifts. Now when I'm engaged in these activities, I can lose track of time for hours, even days if uninterrupted by life's duties. Then it will fade not to return for several months. This may explain why I've had so many jobs. I bore easily. Learning and sharing knowledge intrigues me, but not enough to be a school teacher. Arts, crafts, design, photography, and hands on things like building or gardening thrill me, but usually time and money is what places a damper on those activities. I love to write, though horrible at trying to express what I want to convey and still haven't figured out a way to make money doing it. Always wanted to write a book or screenplay, even purchased how-to books on the subject, but life distracts me like little shiny objects to a magpie. I've always wanted to own a nightclub, or a men's clothing store or even my own jewelry store, alas, money has been the big hindrance there. While I may kid that I'm devoid of passion, I am not. I just have too many to focus on and have yet to have everything I need to strike out on a venture to coalesce at the same time to make it happen with any sort of endurance. So yes, I'm bored with my life, with the way it has shaped up and with what I know is my own wasted potential. I want to reshape the world. I just haven't figured out how to do it.
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2 comments:
well, you have the passion, it needs channeling
Better you focus on reshaping Dave than reshaping the world. And devoting yourself to something that serves others, not yourself. That's where you will get a sense of purpose and accomplishment: something outside yourself, and greater than yourself.
Not something glitzy or applause-winning. Some people find their life's work in religion, or the military, or feeding the hungry or saving the whales. Whatever. Many parents find it right at home, raising their children to be strong and decent people.
You admire your parents, I know, and they have accomplished a lot - but there's a reason for that. Look back at what you wrote in this post. Have you ever heard your dad or mom talk this way?
Be a man others can count on and depend on, Dave - self-sufficient and self-giving. Be the one others lean on instead of wishing and hoping your support will show up. Be the man you want to find, even if you never find him.
Nothing's guaranteed to anyone - but that path will be a lot more satisfying than the muddy bog you are stuck in now, my friend. So man up and make something worthwhile of your life - while there's still time. You can do it.
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