Sunday, August 7, 2011

Skewed Perspective

While I have been through a lot of experiences both good and bad. And I can relate to just about anything most people have been through, it is still filtered through my experiences, my values, my ideals, my beliefs. My perspective is skewed by these to varying degrees. I usually fail to take into account that not everyone has the resiliency, the familial support, or intellect I do (not that I'm that smart or educated), so while the experience is similar, they are not the same, nor is the other person affected the same. Something as bad as losing my car because I couldn't make payments was more of nuisance and point of pride, than a devastating effect it would have on Tommy. My parents had already told me they would purchase another for me. I would still have transportation. Tommy does not have that. It would be more traumatic for him and his job search or even day to day activities he needs to engage in. Not to mention he is also not as strong willed as I and he is still dealing with the death of his mother in June and the death of his best friend in May. It would be seen as another loss. I came to this realization after talking with Jessica a few days ago at work. It got me to thinking. Though I can sympathize with many tragedies and streaks of bad luck, I can never know fully the effect it has on others, for I am not them. In the greater picture, the things that bind us together as human beings are also the things that separate us. We each process our lives and the events in them, based on what has preceded it on a very personal, individualized basis. Maybe that is why comforting someone in pain, loss, or bad luck always seems so hollow and insincere, no matter how deeply felt, it is only empty words to the other person. Hopefully, the intent is enough, and the sharing of details of the experience will provide the comfort they need and you seek to give.

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