Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Special Ed

As noted in a post way back, I had a teacher send me a letter once. I secretly had a crush on him all through my 8th grade year. I looked forward to his class everyday. It made science, an already favorite subject, that much better. I would sit in his class and stare at him the whole time. I would daydream about being with him. Of course at that age, "being with" someone was more like hanging out, and maybe getting naked together, not full on sex. That may have been where my love of facial hair comes from. He had a bushy moustache that hid his upper lip. He had unruly brown hair, with some curl at the ends. His eyes were expressive and piercing. I sat near the front of the class to get an uninterrupted view of him. I remember he once wore these thin pale yellow slacks. I was mesmerized. I could see the pockets, his boxer outline and most importantly his very visible penis outline. I don't think I took my eyes off his crotch the entire class that day. I felt as if he wore them just for me. He stood near my desk at the chalkboard the entire time. I was in heaven. He was also the advisor for the science club, of which I was a member. That meant we got to go on overnight trips to different places and see each other in a different light outside of school. I tried to stay close without being too obvious, but I guess his letter proved that was unsuccessful. When it was time to leave middle school and move to the 9th grade at the high school, I made sure he signed my annual. The picture that was taken for the science club members has me kneeling down in front of him (facing the camera), with him behind me looking down at me. I love that picture. Over the summer, between grades, he mailed my best friend a letter with one enclosed and sealed just for me. He had left the school system and moved out west somewhere. My friend gave it to me at the start of the new school year. I read it during homeroom. I know I smiled and blushed. I wanted to get in contact with him. Of course that would have been inappropriate at 15 but he was my man! I guess that is why he forwarded it through my friend, so there would be no way to trace him. I've often wondered what it would have been like to have been with him. He was in his mid twenties at the time. Very handsome. My first crush. And I had proof that it was mutual. I keep that letter for years. Now I have no idea where it is at. But I still have my memories and the picture in the annual with his little message to me.

3 comments:

Lemuel said...

I remember your earlier post in which you alluded to this event. Of course, you made me curious. Good things come to those who wait. *grin*

In a way it is sad that you were not able to reconnect when you were an adult.

mathewphilip said...

I had crushes on my science teacher & my gym Teacher, but it was one way only...

afod said...

An interesting reminisce back to the junior high days. I don't think I ever had a crush on a teacher. Perhaps because many of them were dressed in habits?

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