Sunday, January 11, 2009


Once a co-worker was trying to humilate my by asking if I was gay in front of a group of other co-workers. My reply, "Why, do you want to ask me out?"

The same co worker said some belittling remark about my being gay, my retort, "You're my bitch now."

The same co-worker told me I was flaming one day. I said, "I don't flame, I glow."

My ex and I were leaving a bar with a couple of others we had went out with. I was following behind talking to one of them. I noticed my ex swinging his hips, almost excessively. I told him, "We need to get a front porch for that swing."

I was asked by a total drunken, unattractive stranger in a bar one night if he turned me on. My reply was, "Not even if I had a switch."

In high school, there was one fellow that didn't like me for some reason. One day I passed him in the hall after classes had begun. He called me a pussy. I turned briefly and said, "You are what you eat." He never said another word to me.


Ur-spo said...

Not show shame and never stoop.
And witty remarks are fab.

Russ Manley said...

Hahaha. Damn Dave, wish I could think on my feet as fast as you. I never think of the brilliant retorts till hours later.

Bob said...

Years ago I was on a first date with this guy and we were visiting the Museum of Art in San Francisco. It was nearly empty in one of the exhibition halls and he wlked up behind me and started to slip his hand down the front of my pants.
"What are you doing," I asked.
'Trying to get into your pants," he said.
"You have a better chance of getting into Harvard." I said.

To this day I cannot remember his name, but friends and I call him Harvard.

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