Zingers

Once a co-worker was trying to humilate my by asking if I was gay in front of a group of other co-workers. My reply, "Why, do you want to ask me out?"

The same co worker said some belittling remark about my being gay, my retort, "You're my bitch now."

The same co-worker told me I was flaming one day. I said, "I don't flame, I glow."

My ex and I were leaving a bar with a couple of others we had went out with. I was following behind talking to one of them. I noticed my ex swinging his hips, almost excessively. I told him, "We need to get a front porch for that swing."

I was asked by a total drunken, unattractive stranger in a bar one night if he turned me on. My reply was, "Not even if I had a switch."

In high school, there was one fellow that didn't like me for some reason. One day I passed him in the hall after classes had begun. He called me a pussy. I turned briefly and said, "You are what you eat." He never said another word to me.