Monday, March 8, 2010

Just Be Myself

I took this Saturday. Chris requested a pic, why, I'm not sure. This one I didn't send and choose one of my almost smiling ones instead. I've often heard to "just be yourself" in these instances. I found myself thinking about that after my little photo shoot. I'm always myself, though I would have a hard time trying to define "me" to someone else. I'm not much on talking about myself. I'm sort of a private person. You couldn't tell from all I publish on my blog though. There are still parts I keep private about myself and family, even here and on Facebook. I prefer someone to have to work to get to know me, just as I do them. I don't mind being asked questions, there are few I wouldn't answer. I just won't go on and on about myself in any detail. Now, after I've warmed up to someone, I'm an open book. I hold little, if anything back, much to the chagrin of my few remaining friends.

I recall the first days and weeks and months, after I met my last ex, Greg. I still recall tidbits of our conversations, from way back on December 2, 1989. I recall many of our talks. We would talk to the wee hours of the morning about anything and everything. It's one of the things I miss about our relationship. We were great at communicating, the good, the bad and the ugly. That may be why we lasted through all the crap for 10 years.

Now I found myself wanting to hold back when I meet people. I'm not sure if it's because I'll scare them, overwhelm them or bore them. Weird. Greg and I split 10 years ago and I haven't had many face to face conversations since that were as passionate or engaging as ours. I tend to think it is me. I've changed. The world has changed. Communications certainly have. It seems conversation is a lost art.

I've never been much of a phone person. I guess the pay as you go phone I have will keep it that way for some time to come. Mostly I interact with people online, through email or chat. That has it's draw backs, but it's better than nothing. I tend to open up more after I've built a rapport. I try to not be so intense, but it is my Aries nature. I just try to keep it in check.

When dinner happens with Chris, I need to remember a few things. First, breathe. Second, be myself. Third, don't worry. Fourthly, don't jump his bones. Fifthly, don't interrogate him.

I should do fine. Just like riding a bike, right?


Anonymous said...

That was a sweet post.
Maybe he is the one that should be at his BEST!
Wink wink.
Good Luck!
I enjoy your "self" quite often, especially today...

an ex southerner living the Loire Valley

witomski said...

Dave....Roll with it...enjoy it...."dance" like you do when no one else is around.....Joe

Lemuel said...

Your approach to the dinner seems solid. Good luck. I hope all goes well.
The point in your post that struck a chord was the not talking on the phone bit. I am not fond of long phone conversations.

Stan said...

Being an Aries myself I have many of the same qualities and flaws if you call them that like you. Good luck. I couldn't imagine myself being able to go on an actual date at this point in my life. Best of luck to you!

Russ Manley said...

Of course you know we expect a full report with pictures and everything . . . grin.

Just kidding, relax and have a great time buddy. Even if it don't go anywhere, for at least one night it beats sitting home alone, right?

anne marie in philly said...

I second russ!

and you sure do look fetching, honey chile!

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