54 Card Pick Up

A deck of nude male playing cards is how my interest in men and erotica all began. When I was around 14 or 15, I came across a deck for sale in a Walter Drake catalog. The idea fascinated me. I looked at the little picture in the catalog ever chance I got. I really wanted a deck for my very own. I finally got up the nerve to ask my grandfather to order it for me. I figured being as indulgent as he was with me he would say yes and not ask questions. He was cool like that. He told me he would take care of it. The next time I was over at my grandparents house, he gave me my first copy of Playgirl magazine. I was delighted. He never asked me questions about why I wanted it. He never made any judgements about me or my choice of reading material. I spent a lot of time in my room at their house. I'm certain they both knew what I was up too at that age. I had discovered masturbation at 13, but now I didn't have to use my imagination. The following years saw an expansion of my collection. More Playgirls, Honcho, Mandate, BlueBoy, Hustler, even a few Playboys. My grandfather kept them locked in a cabinet for me out in his shop, that only he and I had the keys too. Later, as my body begin to develop more, I would ask questions. The magazines were used as a reference. He would go through and mark pages that related to the answers for me to find. One question sticks out, it was about circumcision. He found a picture of a an uncut guy, inserted a piece of paper and even included a note stating than he himself was uncircumcised. I guess those times are why I never felt I had to "come out". At least in the typical fashion. I never felt "in". Of course, there were other people to tell in my life, but I always felt comfortable doing so. Thanks to my grandfather. When it came time to help care for him in his final months, there was no question of whether I would or not. I quit my job, gave up my new car and stayed everyday with him. It was the least I could do for a man that helped shape who I am and accepted and loved me with limits.