Friday, March 27, 2009

Blah Blah Blah

I'm feeling a little blah today. I'm not sure why. The medication is working fine, maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's the encroaching middle age I feel. Maybe it's that I feel alone. Maybe it's that I feel stuck, with no way of unsticking myself just yet. I'm in a holding pattern. Circling my goals that are in sight and easily grasped, I just have to be patient. Something I find harder to do the older I become. After all, we never truly know how much time is really left do we? I want all the school work to be over with before I lose interest. I want the house built now not later. I want to plant my gardens and tend to my yard. I'd like to get a nice career going so I can retire at a proper age. I'd like to meet my next partner before I'm too old to care. I want to travel before I'm too old to enjoy it. All these things must wait. It isn't the right time. I have to get through the present so the future can arrive. I have to prepare myself for the changes to come. I have to have the proper foundations laid before anything new can begin. I know all this stuff. It doesn't make the waiting any easier. I'm just feeling blah today. No particular reason, everything in general. I'm cued up and ready to be called. I'm just waiting on the "Next".

1 comment:

Lemuel said...

One of the themes of your post reminded me of a time in my own life some 20 years ago when I was waiting for "things" to happen. Ironically one of the pop songs at the times was "Waiting for a Star to Fall" (Boy Meets Girl). I used to play that over and over to help me hold on to patience.

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