Thursday, March 26, 2009

Things I Miss

Having been alone now for over 8 years, I've come to appreciate some things about my ex. I do miss the intimacy, not just the sexual, but the sharing that comes from a deep bond. Talking about all sorts of things, from physics to music to goals, till the wee hours. The feeling you get from knowing someone is there for you when you need them, from taking care of me when I was sick to visiting him in the hospital. The shared journey through life, the purchase of a new car, the funeral of a friend, or going to a wedding together. The little habit they possess that can be some times annoying, like now the kitchen cabinet doors are always closed when not in use. The little secrets you share just between yourselves and knowing it will never go any further than their ears. Learning about the others taste and interest and finding the common ground or that they can still surprise you. The fact that you are cared for whether they tell you so are not, it's in the things they do. Quite simply just hanging out, eating pizza and watching a DVD together or doing the mundane, like grocery shopping or laundry together. Then of course there is the physical stuff I miss too. Having someone to snuggle up to or hold me while I fall asleep. Showering, shaving even taking a piss together. The hugs and kisses. The unexpected touch. That look that says they want you. Talking about what the other does that turn you on and what else you'd like to try together. Those are things I miss the most. One day I'll find it again. For now, I'm concentrating on loving me and positioning myself to love someone else better than I ever could have before. I often wonder what he is up to now. Whatever it is, I wish him the best and maybe one day our paths will cross again. We will have much to catch up on.


Kevin said...

Dave, I'm right there with ya when it comes to concentrating on loving myself. I just know that everything will ultimately work out as it should with you... and you will be even happier when it does. Same goes for me.

Lemuel said...

That intimacy - not necessarily sexual - is *so* very important to our being fully human.

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