Saturday, December 5, 2009

Feeling Foolish

Have you had one of those episodes were you feel a bit foolish afterward? In your mind, whatever action you took seemed right but was met with less enthusiasm than anticipated? If something is on my mind, like making a phone call or writing an email, it is a distraction till I do it. Most times I don't attach any importance to such things, but occasionally I do. For whatever reason I can't in good conscience ignore it. I may ponder it. I may ask advice about it. But until it is done, my mind won't let it go. Then I have to figure out a way to express that thought and resulting action. Justify a possible intrusion into someone else's life. Of course, my mind seems to go the the worse case scenario. They broke their hip and can't get up. They are in a deep depression and can't cope. I'm utterly convinced that they need me, my encouragement, my outreach. Silly I know. Maybe it is because there were times when I was really down that an unexpected missive would have been such a great help. Maybe because too often I've read news articles of people who spent their last moments, alone and needing help that never came. Whatever the reason my mind seizes these ideas, once I convince myself that I should take action, the end result is somewhat anti climatic. I didn't save anyone. I didn't bring anyone back from the brink of despair. I actually feel like an idiot. Who would have thought they have just been busy. Or that they just didn't have anything to say. After all, that is not the case for me. How could it be for them, right? The odd thing is, I would do each silly, foolish thing again, for the simple fact that it felt right to me. Who knows, maybe one day, it will pay off.


TomS said...

Sounds like you made a recent attempt to provide comfort or support that met with a lack of appreciation. It does happen....some folks can be self-absorbed, or busy, or just thoughtless. Keep doing what you feel is right....chances are you have done someone a lot of good, even though you may never get that feedback. Your friends are mighty lucky.

Ur-spo said...

goodness what a lot of thought!

Russ Manley said...

Dave, there's nothing wrong at all with giving people a call; even if nothing's wrong, everybody appreciates the fact that someone called to say hey. So just let it go at that; you don't have to tell them what dread possibilities ran through your mind. "Just wanted to say hi. How ya been?" That's totally cool.

Seems to me you simply want to be somebody's hero. Grin. Well just keep on doing what you're doing and keep on being Dave, and one of these days no doubt you will be!

Lemuel said...

I, like you, have had learned of those who bore their troubles without aid and that moves me to reach out as well. I often have the same reaction that what I did was not helpful. But perhaps we need to look at it this way: sometimes what we do does not get noticed, but if we had not done it, it would be noticed - in the negative. So perhaps we have saved someone and made a difference, but because disaster was averted, it does not "make the news".

Jim said...

I'm sorry that the response you got was less enthusiasm than you expected.

Keeping being your sweet thoughtful self though.... Maybe this person was just distracted by something else.

Larry Ohio said...

"Have you had one of those episodes were you feel a bit foolish afterward?" Yeah, that's me every minute of every day.

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