Internet Porn 101

Boy, did I use to be naive. Thanks to internet porn, especially, Ahrrrrr It Use To Be On You Tube, I have learned a great many things. Since I believe that valuable knowledge should be shared with all, for the betterment of humanity, I will list some of the most important lessons below. Pay close attention, there may be a quiz afterward.

1. Never should you place your balls on the kitchen counter and swat them with a metal spatula.
2. Never should you place a match in the end of your penis and lite it.
3. Never should you allow a friend to convince you to use your anus as a lunching point for bottle rockets.
4. Never should you use a blow torch to remove unwanted pubic hair.
5. Never should you expose yourself on a web cam when your mother or sister is home and have the habit of walking in unannounced.
6. Never should you allow yourself to be placed naked in a barrel of water at a party in which it takes everyone to remove you from.
7. Never should you trust a friend that says, "The camcorder is off", when you are doing something your mother shouldn't see.
8. Never should you use sensitive body parts for target practice.
9. Never should you practice your high kicks naked in a room with a chandelier or lamps.
10. Never should you try to lift weights with your ball sack without proper training.

This concludes our lesson for today. Now pencils at the ready.