I have exercised off and on since high school. I have always had a few extra pounds I wanted to get rid of but never had a gut. I could still look down, see my feet and penis. My weight has always fluctuated by five pounds. For 20 years after high school I was still wearing size 32 pants, had a 42 inch chest and no wrinkles. No one would believe I was in my late 30's. At 5'8", my weight always hoovered around 165 to 170. I was comfortable with that. I had muscular legs, nice pecs, and a tight butt. At 37 or 38, I decided to work out seriously. I bought a home gym and exercised every day for a hour, 4 times a week. I bulked up. I had abs. I looked fabulous.
I had a strict diet and even counted my calories in a journal. Then my last bout of depression hit. It hit hard too, more so than ever before. I lost all interest in working out. My diet turned to comfort food when the medication wasn't enough. I let myself go. I ballooned from a svelte 175 to 252 pounds in less than a year. I was miserable. I realized I to do something. I was a prime candidate for a heart attack or stroke. My parents were very concerned and hounded me till I started doing something about it. I begin cutting back in caloric intake. I try for a few days to exercise, but the extra weight quickly exhausted me. I finally shrank from a butterball 252 down to 210 in about 6 months and have stayed there for over two years. I still have the stretch marks. It has been very slow going. Now it seems that time has worked with me. I losing weight much slower, but my energy level is picking up. My depression is coming under control after much tinkering around with different medications and dosages. I 'm ready to move into the serious diet and exercise phase now. When I was at my best I was 175, had a 31 inch waist, a 44 inch chest and a body fat percentage of 10%. I could bench press 165 ten times without breaking a sweat. I could leg press 450 pounds. I felt and looked great before depression robbed me on my desire and achievements. I'm back now. I'm tired of looking in a mirror and barely recognizing my own bloated face. I'm tired of avoiding looking at my body in mirror out of self disgust. I'm ready to fight for the body I want and deserve. I want to be able to look down and see my feet without sucking my gut in.
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4 comments:
You can do it! I will say this -- even if you get down to the weight you want, it's still hard to change your mental image of yourself.
I have had the same struggles all my life too. Living in a small town, but going to a nice big city gym at the University is great thing for me. I just can't make myself spend an hour exercising at home; have to go to the gym to do it. And it's even better when i make myself WALK the 3/4 mile or so to the gym.
Oh, you do not know how much I am rooting for you!! I always atruggled with my weight and I always had a body image like the picture. In my late 30's I started working out and continued into my late 40's when I injured my back. It has been all down hill from there. Now, I not only think I look like the picture, I *do* look like the picture.
I am so happy to read of your success. Keep it up! Perhaps I can live vicariously through you!
Such determination. But with the holidays at hand I'm not holding out much hope for myself. It sounds like your doing it for the right reason. I was slender once and had all the partners I could handle. Now no one hits on me. Such is a life of middle age and obesity.
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