I made it to the doctor's today. Had a shower. Treated myself to dinner away from the house and with real food. The doc said that most likely my medication is no longer as effective as it once was. He was very concerned about the turn of events. He postulated that maybe my grandfather's death had been a catalyst, since I tend to repress things. He told me I need to untrain my parrot, meaning my inner dialogue. He said I need to get out more before it becomes so bad that I won't be able to leave the house at all. He was also worried about besides the ineffectiveness of the medication that maybe some of my problem is my self image as a failure. That the defeatist attitude is also part of the problem. I've gone to this shrink longer than any shrink ever. I have a great rapport with him. I believe that there was a lot of truth in what he said. Now I just need to fight through it till we can find another pill that works better.
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3 comments:
so what did you start pill wise?
Dave, it's not only the pill, YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING for it TOO !!!
You've been out of the house, refreshed yourself before you went to see him and had a decent meal at last.
So instead of sitting most of your time behind a computer, you could go out, do things, meet people, have different surroundings around you so you don't have to listen to those voices in your head.
You don't have to wait till that new pill arrives, you can start acting NOW! Same goes with decisions, why wait till January first it´s just another day like all those other days, ACT NOW!
Healing starts from within, a pill is a substitute to help you get started and keeping it up.
There is a lot of truth to what Peter says. I hope you dig down and find the inner strength to get up and get out. I think it will go a long way to helping the medications that your are given to be more effective and to help you improve your self image. You *are* a person of value and worth. Each of us is unique and you are making your own unique, positive contribution to the rest of us. Without you we are less than we should be.
Keep fighting, my man!
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