Friday, November 14, 2008

About My Ex

It was really weird this morning. I woke up at 5:30am for some reason, thinking about my ex. I'm not sure why. It has been almost 8 years since we split. I was laying in bed, listening to the dog breathe and the rain on the window. All I could do was reminiscence. It wasn't upsetting, quite peaceful actually, like afterglow. I though about the first time I met him. I had started a new job at a screen printing company where he was employed. It was love at first sight for me. I think it may have taken him a day or two longer to figure it out. I will never forget his pick up line. We were taking a smoke break outside. He had said something about short people. I answered, "Well, I'm 5'8", so I know you aren't referring to me". To which he replied, "I'm 5'11 1/2 and I won't say where the 11 1/2 inches are". Well, I was intrigued. I found out a couple of days later that he was nicely endowed, but not 11 1/2 inches, thank God!

Over the years, we experienced up and downs, like any couple. I try to remember all the good and minimize the bad. I do still think fondly of him, though we haven't spoken in years. We had such a great connection together. We just fit nicely. He was everything I ever wanted in a man. He was handsome, a little rough looking. No one would ever suspect he was gay. Tall, swimmers build, dark hair and eyes. Very intelligent, an IQ of 160, witty, knowledgeable. We shared many laughs together over those years. He cleaned up well, had manners, and very articulate. When I first met him he rode a motorcycle. Then he purchased a pre-owned BMW 750 and would even let me drive it occasionally. He was almost perfect.

We split, not because we ran out of love, but circumstance. He always was a heavy drinker, from morning till bed time, even before work. He never let it interfere with his work or responsibilities. He would smoke a little pot occasionally, which I didn't approve of, but would share the experience just to be near him. Then it all changed. He started doing coke. He lost his job, that he held for 10 years, because he lost his temper with another employee. He did get another with a florist wholesaler and was doing well. His habits changed. He became an absolute slob. The BMW was so full of trash it looked like a dumpster. You literally had a path from the front door to the bedroom in his apartment. Trash was every where. More than once I helped him clean it up but to no avail. I wouldn't see or hear from him for days, sometimes weeks. I always worried that he had been busted or killed while being at his dealers place. Finally, he was evicted from his apartment when the landlord had to go in and check a maintenance issue. The place was destroyed. I had long since made him come to my place. I couldn't take the filth anymore.

He moved in with me for the last couple of years we were together. He decided he needed to be near his parents in Atlanta to help him sort out his problem. I agreed. There was nothing I could do. I had always been supportive when I could. I always listened to what he had to say. But this problems and the ensuing mess, I wasn't able to cope with. I was worn out emotionally. He loaded up his stuff with his father from my house. He left just before Christmas in 2000. I still have many good memories and I let the bad ones slid.


rptrcub said...

Sometimes you can't do anything, and it hurts like hell. Are you still in touch with him?

Ultra Dave said...

Unfortunately not.

Ur-spo said...

ah well; 'exes' have bittersweet memories and bring us wisdom.

TigerYogiji said...

((HUGS)) :(

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