Becoming a Monk

I'm beginning to think I need to become a monk. Let's just say that if I sprang a wrist or broke my arm, my sex life would be in jeopardy. After my ex and I split, I was without sexual contact for almost five years before giving in. Then having opened the flood gates, I had five or six encounters. Most of it was just not going out and meeting people. Since I had stopped drinking, there was little point in going to bars. Sure, I went out a few times to see what it was like without the influence of alcohol. It was boring and I was uptight. So I stopped. Working in a jewelry store wasn't much help either. Most guys that visited were buying for their wife or girlfriend or if they were gay for their boyfriend. Not a huge choice. I chatted on line and meet a few, but nothing ever became of it. That was where I met the ones it connected with. Now I'm back in the same groove. It's been almost three years since my last sexual encounter with another man. Don't get me wrong, I'm not really complaining. My life seems to go much smoother without one. I can't help but wonder if maybe I'm supposed to be alone, or even if my ex was the only one for me and no other can come close. I would love to have someone to have that type of connection with again, even without the sex, like I had with my friends that have passed. The familiarity, the sharing of secrets, the closeness that comes from close bonds. I would like to think it is possible. I don't go looking for it. I figure it will happen in its own time, in its own way. I guess that is one of the reasons I decided to blog. Not to find Mr Right, or even Mr Right Now, but to connect with others. Sort of like a surrogate or virtual best friends. I'm very appreciative of your comments and visits. Even if I'm feeling alone here in this small town, I can log in and read the fascinating stuff going on in someone else life. I thank you all for that. Maybe I enjoy porn too much to be a monk.